Third graders Kristin Fredheim and Adelheid Weka at Sogndal secondary school both experienced that their sexual boundaries were violated. After unpleasant experiences where no didn’t become no, the friends allied themselves with health nurses. Adelheid Weka and Kristin Ferdheim teamed up with health nurses at the school to talk about boundaries. Photo: Erik M. Sundt They thought the sex education so far had been too bad and wanted the health nurse to come into the class for a talk about sex, the body and boundaries. – When, for example, you look at porn where the sex is very rough, it is difficult to know where the boundaries are. You feel you have to live up to the same level, says Fredheim. – I notice myself that it can be difficult to know where my boundaries are if I haven’t thought about it beforehand, says my friend Weka. It was Sykepleien that first wrote about the matter. The teacher should be able to teach about sex Anneli Rønes in Sex and society basically thinks that it is great that the pupils themselves are clear about what they want from teaching, and that they use health nurses at the school. But she believes that the teachers must also take responsibility. – At the same time, we believe that teaching about sexuality is something teachers should be able to provide, also in order to meet the new competence targets. Boundary setting is part of the new curriculum at both primary and secondary schools. Nevertheless, a survey from Sex and society shows that only twelve percent of the teachers gained knowledge about sexuality education in their education. At the same time, the pupils want more sex education. Almost 40 per cent of the students asked wanted more teaching about setting boundaries, and more than half wanted more teaching about sexual debut. Getting questions about anal sex With porn just a click away and Russian songs singing that “With GHB in the glass, I’ll make you feel good”, one can get the impression that we live in a borderless society, believes health nurse Linda Skrove at Sogndal secondary school. She meets many girls who have had their boundaries stepped on, often several times. They often come to Skorve because they struggle with anxiety attacks, compulsions or eating disorders. – Later it turns out that the problem started early in the teens, because they didn’t dare to say no, or froze up, and had their limits stepped on. In order not to be rude or dismissive, it can be easier to stretch your own boundaries than to say no. – It does something to their self-worth and can lead to a lot of shame and psychological difficulties for a long time. Photo: Ingeborg Grindheim Slinde / news According to the health nurse, many young people also have little training in meeting each other and being social. – I get questions about anal sex on the one hand and young people who don’t dare approach others on the other. Then I wondered if they actually need a checking course. Instead of information about anal sex, perhaps young people actually need more information about sex for the first time and how to approach a person they like, Skrove believes. Praises the young people Jorunn Furuheim in the police works, among other things, to talk to young people about what is legal and what is not. She also notices that it is difficult for many to set limits for their own body, especially when it comes to partying and alcohol. She thinks it’s great that young people like Weka and Fredheim ask for more information. In abuse cases where the police are involved, it varies how much young people know about what is legal and what is not, says Furuheim. – We do not want anyone to be exposed to sexual abuse or other unfortunate situations. It is then important that we are at the forefront and inform. At the same time, she encourages young people who experience being sexually attracted to contact the police. And she adds: – It is not the case that if you contact the police, a criminal case will be opened straight away. It is something we can discuss together. – Have to talk in teams Health care nurse Linda Skorve at Sogndal Continuing School tries to visit all the second-graders at the school to talk about why it is difficult to set boundaries. – Then the pupils come to the conclusion that: Well, we just have to talk in teams and ask when we are unsure, explains Skorve. For Kristin Fredheim, it took time before she realized that what she experienced was not good. Kristin Fredheim went together with a health nurse to receive education about sex and boundaries. Photo: Sondre Dalaker / news – Afterwards I didn’t think too much about the fact that it wasn’t okay. Nåde ho and Weka believe that there are expectations that you should like and accept everything when it comes to sex. Then there may be little room for boundaries
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Young people want to learn to say no to sex – news Vestland
