For many, the Christmas celebration goes hand in hand with family time. – It’s nice to have the family visiting, but there will be a lot of mess and a lot of washing up, says Linus. He is one of many who have had family on a Christmas visit. A survey for the insurance company Fremtind showed that 1.7 million Norwegians were going to travel at Christmas. But when should the family pack their bags and turn their noses back home? – It is said that fish and guests get sick after three days, says psychologist Peder Kjøs. He estimates that three days might work as a good rule of thumb, but some families can enjoy being together much longer than that. – It will depend on how the family relationship is, says Kjøs. TIME TO GO HOME: When the fuse is short and the conversation feels tense, it may be time to say thank you. Photo: news – Two hours, then it’s fine For Anne Marie Madsen, the conclusion is clear; 2 hours, that’s enough. She herself hasn’t been on the big Christmas visits this Christmas, apart from a small collection of cake leftovers after a birthday. – But nothing more? – No, I have been at home for Christmas. news has tried to ask people if there is a magic limit to when there are enough visitors. The old saying that fish and guests go bad after three days doesn’t hold true for Madsen. – Two hours, I think, then it’s fine. There is no touker’s visit, no, I feel best at home. And if you have children and need good advice when the visit has been long enough? – We have children, so when they go to bed I think people take the hint, she says. Family increase on Christmas visit For Vincent Raff and his wife, it was a slightly different Christmas. When they traveled to Stokmarkes to celebrate Christmas with Raff’s parents, the Christmas visit was shorter than planned. – On Christmas Day we were flown by helicopter from Vesterålen to Bodø, then we had our first child. She arrived a little early, and wanted to become a Vesteråling. Now the trip goes back to Bergen, where the family lives. Vincent Raff likes to be at home with his parents, and may well be on a Christmas visit for a couple of weeks. Photo: Malin Nygård Solberg / news – We had intended to be until yesterday before we were going back to Bergen, says Raff. – Do you think there is a limit to how long the Christmas visit should last? – It is very pleasant to be at home with mum and dad, but you can take everything in portions. A couple of weeks is very nice. Difficult to say – For many, the family visit is based on a desire to be together and have a good time, and if you adapt and pay attention, it usually happens. But how do you tell when the pleasant Christmas visit really isn’t so pleasant anymore? – It can be incredibly small, says Kjøs. VISIT FOR THREE DAYS: – There is no clear rule for how long it is okay to visit, but perhaps three days can work as a rule of thumb, says psychologist Peder Kjøs. Photo: Kristoffer Myhre He says that different families handle conflict differently, but that in many cases it may be wise to handle it a little under the table. – It must be allowed to ask the family to go home, but it is not easy. – Very few of them will probably want to have an open conflict, so it might be a good idea to plan what to say and come up with some kind of explanation. In general, Kjøs recommends agreeing the length of the Christmas visit in advance, and says it might be a good idea to take note of the experiences from this Christmas until next year. At least Linus has the plan ready if he gets tired of having his family at home: – When enough is enough, I can call the skipper and say I want to go back to sea. When I leave they can figure out the rest themselves. – It depends a bit on which family members we are talking about, says Linus with a twinkle in his eye. Photo: Daniel Hong Hansen / news
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The psychologist’s best tips for length of visit – news Nordland
