The case in summary: The journalists Kristian Bolstad and Elisabeth Skovly met each other through their jobs at Fredriksstad Blad over 10 years ago. Organizational psychologist Knut Ivar Karevold advises people to think twice before starting a relationship with a colleague, and to flirt in their free time, not at work. The Working Environment Act in Norway does not directly regulate romantic relationships in the workplace, but the individual workplace may have internal guidelines for this. Beate Karlsen, Senior Adviser at the Norwegian Labor Inspection Authority, says that it is important that all conditions at work do not negatively affect the working environment or lead to conflicts of interest. The summary is made by an AI service from OpenAI. The content is quality assured by news’s journalists before publication. Journalists Kristian Bolstad and Elisabeth Skovly met through their jobs at Fredriksstad Blad over 10 years ago. Bolstad believes they would have stayed together, regardless of whether Skovly had taken a year’s break from his job at Fredriksstad Blad. Photo: Juni Hoem / news She was a summer substitute and he worked with networks. – We had a good tone, but it wasn’t anything other than that, for a long time, says Bolstad. He managed to keep his feelings at bay for quite some time. But it was only when Skovly got another job that Bolstad dared to bet. – I felt it was easier. It was “good to go”, explains Bolstad. And they are not the only ones who have met their lover at work: Live Nelvik and Tore Sagen met through their work at news. They are married and have three daughters. Comedians Maria Stavang and Magnus Devold started working in the same production company in 2020, but it was only after they participated in the program “Kongen Befaler” that they became lovers. The artist Ella Marie Hætta Isaksen is engaged to music producer Lars Kristian Rosness. Rosness was an acquaintance of Isaksen’s producer, and they met in a music studio. Are you smitten with a colleague? You will find advice from the couple at the bottom of the case. Skovly worked in another city for a year, while Bolstad kept the relationship a secret from his colleagues at the local newspaper. Then Fredriksstad Blad wanted to employ Skovly again. The management knew about the relationship and asked the employees if it was okay to work with a couple. Would you start a relationship with a colleague? Yes, but I would think twice. Yes, love has no boundaries. No, you should not initiate romantic relationships in the workplace. No, I don’t think I was lucky. Maybe, if I was really in love. Show result – I understand that the leaders went an extra round, says Skovly. – Then it was win or lose. You must be sure. I can’t think of anything worse than us breaking up and still working together. Kristian Bolstad and Elisabeth Skovly got together after meeting at work. But the couple faced some challenges at the start. “Is He Actually Cute or Is He Just Your Co Worker” – It is common to be captivated by or admire colleagues. A common source of falling in love is exposure, says organizational psychologist Knut Ivar Karevold. – It is wise to think twice, says organizational psychologist Knut Ivar Karevold. Photo: CF Wesenberg – Relationships at work are complex for those involved and based on their roles, the situation and the working environment. Karevold explains that it is easier to deal with if you have a good working environment. – But if it is bad, and the managers are also involved, then it can become complicated. If nothing is done about it, such conflicts can last for years. Christmas is high season for celebrations at work. Karevold believes that one should avoid being too impulsive. – It is wise to think twice. If in doubt, go into the Christmas table with the brakes on. In videos on social media, the tag “Is He Actually Cute or Is He Just Your Co Worker” abounds, i.e. “Is he actually cute, or is he just your colleague”. This is a screenshot of a video on TikTok. The video has been viewed over 500,000 times. The woman wonders if she is really in love with her colleague, and if others recognize her. Photo: Screenshot from TikTok Many people wonder if they are actually interested in a colleague, or if they are attracted because they see them daily. – If you doubt whether you admire the other person just because they are a wonderful colleague, then it is a good idea to get to know them outside of work. Then you get a more nuanced factual basis about who the person is, says Karevold. – Flirt in your spare time, and not at work. The Working Environment Act in Norway does not directly regulate romantic relationships in the workplace. Senior advisor in the Norwegian Labor Inspection Authority Beate Karlsen. Photo: Arbeidstilsynet But the individual workplace may have internal guidelines – In some workplaces it will be completely unproblematic, while in others it may present practical or ethical challenges that make it necessary to avoid this, says Beate Karlsen, senior adviser at the Arbeidstilsynet . Advice from the psychologist and the Norwegian Occupational Safety and Health Administration Organizational psychologist Knut Ivar Karevold Think about the consequences before making a commitment, both for you and those around you. As well as what will happen if the relationship goes badly and there is conflict. It’s important to be honest, but it’s not always important to advertise everything. It is not certain that others notice or care. If in doubt, seek advice from your manager and discuss how to deal with it. Do not do anything unethical, which causes others to be drawn into it, such as cheating. The others may find it uncomfortable and feel like co-conspirators. Managers must be aware that employees respond positively to them. It is part of the social code in a workplace that you must be accommodating with your boss. It is important not to misunderstand. We need to find out what makes people attracted. Two main theories are similarity and contrast, since we are attracted to people who remind us of ourselves or find it exciting to be with people who are the opposite. Falling in love is a good opportunity to get to know yourself. Arbeidstilsynet v/ senior advisor Beate Karlsen It is important that all conditions at work do not negatively affect the working environment or lead to conflicts of interest. If a romantic relationship occurs between two employees, especially in situations where one has a leadership role over the other, this can lead to conflicts of interest. It is important that this is handled professionally to avoid possible influence on decision-making and fairness in the workplace. A romantic relationship should not affect colleagues’ working environment. It is important that the parties maintain professionalism and that the relationship does not lead to unpleasant situations for other employees. It may be smart for the employer to draw up guidelines that address how any romantic relationships in the workplace should be handled. For example, requirements to inform the immediate manager about a relationship. Or that it is not allowed, and why. Provide information on new hires if there are guidelines regarding personal relationships in the workplace. – We don’t kiss in the hallway – It’s more complicated when you work together, when everyone at work also has a relationship with us as a couple, says Skovly. Kristian Bolstad and Elisabeth Skovly on their first honeymoon in the summer of 2015. Photo: Privat – But now we’ve been together for 10 years, so if they haven’t gotten used to it by now, then we have problems, laughs Bolstad. The couple feels that one of the nice things about working together is that they have an understanding of what the other does and that they get to know who their partner is at the workplace. – Life is a circus. Both are looking forward to getting back to work, because then it’s a bit calmer, laughs Skovly. Photo: Juni Hoem / news Advice from the couple Sometimes you have to take a chance. But you should be sure before you start. You have to put up with colleagues joking around a bit in the beginning when you’ve become a couple. It is well intended, but one should be prepared for it. The colleagues are not stupid, they understand that there is something. That can make it more complicated. It’s one thing to be insecure yourself, but when everyone else sees it too, there can be a lot of emotions. But people are generous and mostly curious. Regardless of whether you meet someone at work or not, you don’t need to tell about it until you are completely sure of each other. You have to hang out together in your spare time. You get to know both the private person and the working person. But we think it’s a good thing if you like both sides. It’s nice to admire the other person for the work you do. You probably have to have a somewhat similar work ethic. If you love your job, it can be difficult to be with someone who is bored or annoyed with colleagues. The job must be a positive thing for both. If you want to be with another person, then that is the most important thing. It usually works out. So you have to consider what you want, and then deal with any challenges. They are together around the clock, but it has become a habit. – We don’t stand around in the hallway, says Bolstad with a smile. Now it is toddler life, nappies and porridge that fill everyday life. – When we started to have a good eye for each other, I didn’t think that this is the man with whom I will have two children, says Skovly. – It’s A4, but it turned out well. There is nothing to complain about, concludes Bolstad. What do you think about relationships in the workplace? Have your say: Hi! Welcome to dialogue at news. Since you are logged in to other news services, you do not have to log in again here, but we need your consent to our terms of use for online dialogue Published 13.12.2024, at 19.57
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