In her late 20s, Ellen Sofie Lauritzen had moved to New York to study. She wanted to get to know and explore the city – and for her the new Tinder felt absolutely perfect. She downloaded the app with the flame sign, and started flipping through the deck. – There were dating sites before, but here you had to go through long personality tests, and the threshold was high. Tinder was a low threshold – just another app, she says. Lauritzen is the author of the book “Snakkes til uka” with the subtitle “field notes from a digital dating world”. It’s about the dating app, which is now ten years old, and which quickly became one of the most popular social media apps in the world. The worst dating stories What the app has done to us over the past decade, you can read about further down in the case. But you will also read that not all dates are successful, even though Tinder can show that many meet. news has asked to be sent people’s worst dating stories. Overzealous musician Woman: I met someone who spoke for 1.1/2 hours about music he made from mushrooms. He showed it to me. And of course it was completely silent. I was completely quiet and weird, and we just sat and looked at each other. KWoman: He followed me to the metro, and when he said he hated and was going to give me a hug he kissed me, and pointed his tongue: stuck his tongue down my throat.. just like that without context. I was shocked and ran to the field. Damn ass. (Female, 24) On the occasion of the 10th anniversary of Tinder, several users of the app have sent us their stories. Illustration: Ingrid Reime / news According to the company itself, Tinder is available in 190 countries. The app is available in over 40 languages and has been downloaded more than 530 million times. More than 50 percent of the members are between 18 and 25 years old. Back to New York For Lauritzen in New York, it was great to meet so many different people through Tinder. But soon the newfound love for the app was to fade. – There were quite a few first dates, but always with the same starting point. Ellen Sofie Lauritzen is the author behind the book “Snakkes til uka”. Photo: Privat When she moved back to Oslo after her studies, she discovered that her friends had also become hooked on tinder. – I went on dates here too. But eventually noticed that I had started to change. I was turning 30, and felt that I wanted something other than non-binding meetings. She began to see a shadow side of the app. And terms such as “ghosting” and “benching” appeared. The spitter KWoman: I was spat in the mouth by someone I met from Tinder 🙁 (Woman, 20) Blood is thicker than water MMan: The date had been on a date the week before with my brother, and knew about it. (Man, 32) Lauritzen describes it as having a kind of “Tinder fatigue”. – Even though I got tired of it, I felt I had to check in. It could be that there is a potential girlfriend here. “Fear of missing a match” she called it. – It felt like a crappy training session. My thumb hurt too. But imagine if great love was behind the next swipe. The stories submitted to news show that not all Tinder dates are successes. Illustration: Ingrid Reime / news She heard stories about people who found each other, but she also heard about those who never met anyone – and those who were left sitting in cafes waiting for someone who never appeared. – There was talk of having to put up with the game. You didn’t have to be vulnerable – had to put on some kind of armor. I got a little tired of that. She deleted the app, but it would not last. The consolation gift KKvinne: He invited me to dinner, took me to the Liquor Store, left me in the car with the dog, then took me to the store and said “you decide” so I planned what the dinner would be. When we got to his house I helped clean up. Then he said “you are welcome to direct” so I did. The wine bottle ran out and then he revealed the surprise he had bought for me, namely a ball gag with an opening and apologized that it hadn’t arrived in time so I got a butt plug as a consolation gift. (Woman, 25) Last year, Lauritzen took another look – and was surprised by what she found. – It had become professionals – big business. There was plenty where I could pay for: “superboost”, “superlike”, “Tinder gold”, “Tinder platinum”. According to the author of the book about Tinder, the app has done both positive and negative things to us. Illustration: Ingrid Reime / news She received messages such as: Are you really going to steer clear of this offer? – I didn’t go all in. I felt a bit of a failure – didn’t want to be there. “Fatigue” quickly kicked in again. – The contrast became great when I used Tinder in New York and just wanted to flirt a bit. Now it didn’t feel like fun anymore – it was capitalist. Guttastemning KKwinne: Was invited to dinner, he brought his friend and we ate at Jaffs. No 2 date! (Woman, 17) Red wine + blackout = KKWoman: Blacked out. Woke up naked with red wine vomit all over me and his bed. (Female, 21) More extroverted – more superficial So to the big question. What has ten years of Tinder done to us? – Much good. We have become more outgoing – and many find great love, says Lauritzen. The a cappella singer KKvinne: He sang the ENTIRE Hunting high and low a cappella while staring intently into my eyes. I just wanted to die. (Woman, 22) How about a shower? KWoman: Date in 5 hours, carefully planned by him. We had zero chemistry and he smelled bad. (Female, 40) Through her work on the book, she has interviewed over 50 users, as well as spoken to neurologists, psychologists and love researchers. – At the same time, we have become more superficial and focussed on appearance. This can again lead to more uncertainty, if you are rejected again and again. Here you can listen to news Oppdatert’s episode “Ten years with Tinder: This is how the app has changed us”. She says it is easy to forget that there are actually people behind the profiles, and believes people must take responsibility for treating others properly. – We also have to be aware that there are market forces behind the app and all the functions. Tinder with the recognizable flame sign. Photo: Beate Oma Dahle / NTB news has been in contact with Tinder, who say they ensure that millions of people meet each other every day – people who would never do it otherwise. They also emphasize that it is optional to pay for extra functions, and that many are happy to use the app for free. In bag and sack KKvinne: The Tinder date suddenly started on my roomies in the collective, right in front of me. (Female, 24) The author of the book about the ten-year-old encourages you to look up from the screen and give your thumb a little break. – Because the big love, or the little one, can still be found in the reading room, at the coffee machine or right in front of your eyes. The love letter KKvinne: I had to keep the conversation going throughout the meeting. Was then sent a love letter the next day on an A5 page. Don’t miss being single. It should be said that I met my partner on Tinder then, so there are good stories too. Been together for two years, bought house and cat together. So everything went well in the end – after a lot of strange events on Tinder. (Female, 27)
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Tinder turns 10 – here are the worst dating stories – news Trøndelag
