Perhaps the world’s most famous dictionary, the Oxford English Dictionary, has chosen “goblin mode” as the word of the year. A goblin is a mischievous little troll from folklore, and the expression describes a behavior where you “shamelessly flout social norms and expectations”. The editors excitedly tell how it captures the spirit of the times: “People are fed up with rigid ideals and want to relax, not have to think about what others think.” But do we really need more shamelessness? Another important English dictionary named the word that people had looked up the most times as word of the year. They ended up with “gaslighting”, a word many here at home will probably have come across during 2022. It describes a manipulation technique that narcissists and psychopaths make extensive use of, where you – preferably slowly – grossly mislead someone in order to gain benefits for yourself. Does this not show that we have already taken our shamelessness a step too far? Same shit, new wrapping Be yourself. Listen to your gut feeling. Follow your passion. Go your own way. Truth be told, the shameless goblin mode has been the tune of the times for quite some time. While the dutiful average person was the hero in the 50s, today we celebrate the unique and special, those who stand out and are noticed. The shameless ideal has paradoxically become the norm that many are ashamed of not living up to. Helped by the consumer culture, which has long since realized what a box office success it is. Profitable shamelessness Someone who wants to be special is a far more eager consumer than someone who tries to be like everyone else. He digs deeper into his pockets to acquire clothes, furniture, travel and other luxuries that set him apart from most people. That is why commercial companies fire up under the ideal of shamelessness: Be different. Break the rules. And surely soon: Unleash your inner goblin. The fewer moral barriers we have against following our own desires, the easier it is to manipulate us into doing things we don’t deserve. Just think about how we are tricked into spending more and more time in front of screens, despite the obvious detrimental effects on concentration and health. One of the main lures is “likes” and other positive attention, which acts as a drug on the human brain and makes our inner troll scream for more. Therefore, we brag more and more freely, share more and more intimate details and pose more and more undressed. Most things are allowed, as long as it generates likes, balloons and clapping hands. And everything is definitely legal if it gives a free ticket to the red carpet and celebrity status. Take a look at reality TV if you have any doubts. Someone is undoubtedly making a lot of money from us becoming increasingly shameless and attention-seeking. But the vast majority of us are losing out on this development. Narcissism is spreading Because while more and more people are ashamed of not being special and visible enough, the healthy shame – the one that makes us responsive to other people’s needs, boundaries and wishes – is diminishing. Being considerate of others is increasingly seen as a loser trait. Research shows that narcissistic traits have steadily increased in Western countries since the 1950s, and that more and more people are tipping over into a full-blown narcissistic personality disorder. Narcissism is characterized not only by an inflated self-image and an extreme need for attention, but also by a lack of empathy, manipulative behavior and exploitation of others. In that sense, it comes as no surprise that “gaslighting” was the word that received the most searches in 2022. Or that “12 signs that you are with a narcissist” has become the online newspapers’ new clickbait favourite. The psychologists who speak in these articles like to talk about narcissism exclusively as an individual phenomenon and problem. This is how the culture goes guilt free, and narcissism can continue to spread. By shaping our attitudes, the narcissistic culture also influences which leaders we admire and choose. If we look at the United States, where the shameless ideal stands stronger than elsewhere, it does not bode well: Donald Trump, Kanye West and Elon Musk. As I read about Musk’s latest rampages with Twitter, I see that a third dictionary has named “perma-crisis” as the word of the year. It describes an enduring sense of instability and uncertainty, and refers to the accumulation of catastrophes that undoubtedly have to do with our shameless overspending and our increasingly narcissistic leaders: the war in Ukraine, the climate crisis and political instability in the world at large. Healthy shame as a counterweight When the 68ers rebelled against the shame culture of the 50s and called for a break with the conformity pressure of the time, they dreamed of a world where everyone would have equal opportunities for self-expression. A society full of narcissists is anything but that. In contrast, it is a world where the most unscrupulous and selfish take more and more benefits and top positions with as much right as they have power, while the majority are ashamed of not being narcissistic enough. A small step in the right direction would be if, instead of embracing our inner goblin, we struck a blow for healthy shame, the one that stops us from running amok in self-indulgence and self-assertion. And which reminds us that even the narcissists among us are totally dependent on the community.
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This year’s new word reveals a sick culture – Expression
