The case in summary: “Anna”, a 39-year-old woman, will meet a stranger with whom she may have children through a new service called “Medparents”.• The service, which was launched in March, has already had almost 200 people take contact to find a person with whom they can have children.• The aim of the service is to help people find a co-parent to raise a child together, without a romantic commitment.• The service challenges the idea of the traditional nuclear family, and offers a solution for those who want to have children, but not necessarily in a traditional relationship.• According to researcher Ingvill Stuvøy at NTNU, the nuclear family stands firmly as the norm, but it is not unusual for people to have children across relationships.• Psychologist Peder Kjøs believes that it the most important thing is that the child grows up with a stable and secure attachment to at least one parent, and preferably several. The summary is made by an AI service from OpenAi. The content is quality assured by news’s journalists before publication. – There is a feeling there that I have more love to give, says 39-year-old “Anna”. Not too far from where she stands on Aker brygge in Oslo, children’s laughter and screams can be heard from the playground. Anna is not her real name. Since she has only told a few people about what she intends to do, she will remain anonymous. We meet her a week before she is to meet a potential “co-parent” for the first time. A completely unknown person, with whom she has one thing in common. The dream of a child. – It is scary. You depend on it being a good match, she says. Challenging the nuclear family The aim of the meeting is to find out if the two are compatible enough to be able to raise a child together. Absolutely without a romantic commitment. Through the new service “Co-parents”, “Anna” has paid for advice and help to find this person. – In your mid-30s, you should, perhaps especially as a woman who wants children, make some active choices. If nature doesn’t make the choices for you, says Landewall. Photo: Hallgeir Braastad – In your mid-30s, you should, perhaps especially as a woman who wants children, make some active choices. If not, nature makes the choices for you, says Landewall. Photo: Hallgeir Braastad We meet the founder Linn Landewall in their meeting room at Røa. Since she launched the “Medparents” service in March, close to 200 people have made contact to find a person with whom they can have children. What are co-parents? Co-parents is a matching and counseling service, which helps people find out if co-parenting is right for them, and what will be important to them in that type of relationship. Among other things, they survey values, attitudes, personality and their wishes related to potential co-parenting. The co-parenting team consists of a family therapist, psychologists, a lawyer and soon a fertility consultant. Linn Landewall writes the following about what it costs: “Prices for our packages are currently between NOK 200 and NOK 3,500 per month. The contents of the packages vary so that you can choose what suits you and your trip best. Some will explore the concept a bit on their own first, while others are ready for personal matching, support and advice throughout the process.” – The idea arose when I myself was in the middle of a breakup, says Linn. The desire for children was still as strong, but the idea of a normal nuclear family had faded. Then she got to know a family that consisted of two gay dads and one mom. – I had considered having children alone, but I would prefer that my child should have several parents. But where would I find my co-parent? The form that Linn keeps is an important part of the survey. – Becoming co-parents together is perhaps the biggest choice you make in your life. That process should be done thoroughly, she says. Photo: Hallgeir Braastad The form that Linn holds is an important part of the mapping. – Becoming co-parents together is perhaps the biggest choice you make in your life. That process should be done thoroughly, she says. Photo: Hallgeir Braastad She quit her job, sold the apartment, and created the service she herself wanted. Children across relationships Many children today grow up with queer parents, divorced parents, in so-called rainbow families or with a single parent. There are no official figures on how many people do not grow up in a traditional “nuclear family”. – Nevertheless, the notion of the traditional nuclear family is something that runs deep, says Linn from “Medparents”. It receives support from researcher Ingvill Stuvøy at NTNU. She does research on, among other things, reproduction, gender and inequality. According to the researcher, the nuclear family is firmly established as the norm, partly because there is a Children’s Act which stipulates that you can only have two legal parents. Ingvill Stuvøy is a researcher at NTNU. Photo: Elin Iversen/NTNU – But the fact that people have children through relationships is not new. We have several well-known examples of this in the public eye, such as Anette Trettebergstuen, she says. She thinks it is exciting that Landewall is now putting this practice into a more organized framework. – This is offered as a paid service, and thus expands the commercial offer available to people who want to become parents, says Stuvøy. When asked how she thinks this will affect the children, she sees little cause for concern. – The main findings from research carried out on children who grow up with, for example, queer parents, show that the children are doing very well, she says. Potential for things to go wrong Fewer and fewer children are being born in Norway. In 2021, almost one in four men aged 50 was childless in Norway. According to Linn Landwall, almost as many men as women have contacted her through the service. – It is very uplifting. There are so many different stories that lead people to consider co-parenting, she says. Psychologist Peder Kjøs says that it is easy to think that this way of doing things is wrong and unnatural, and that there is a potential for things to go wrong. – But it really applies to all ways of having children, so it is not an argument in itself, he explains. According to the psychologist, it is most important that the child grows up with a stable and secure attachment to at least one parent, and preferably several. – For a child to feel safe and loved, the most important thing is that they are safe and loved, he says. A new hope “Anna” strolls away in the cool autumn air. At 18, she learned that she might never be able to have children for medical reasons. – It has been a long and difficult process, she says. During her 30s, she has been in two long-term relationships. Photo: Rolf Petter Olaisen / news Photo: Rolf Petter Olaisen / news In the last relationship, they started artificial insemination via a donor. The other party was to carry the child forward. Then the relationship ended. The child was not born. The hope is now to meet a good match who will carry the child forward. – It is clear that it has been harder for me the older I have become. Dealing with the fact that life does not turn out as you imagine. That you might not be able to have children. Hello! Did you come up with any thoughts that you would like to share with me after reading this case? I would love to hear from you. In the past, I have written about, among other things, outsiders, body pressure and mental health.
ttn-69
This service allows you to have children and become co-parents with a stranger – news Oslo og Viken – Local news, TV and radio
