The snow dances quietly in the streets. A pair of boots breaks with all the white in front of closed shop doors. They stop at a glittering jeweler’s window. – He has always bought presents on Christmas Eve at 1 p.m., says Vigdis. Photo: PRIVAT Sheriff Erik has had to be at work on Christmas Eve until 12 so that everyone can have a safe Christmas. But the jeweler at Sellbakk has been waiting for Erik, who became the last customer of Christmas Eve. – He has always been good at buying presents. I appreciate it very much, says Vigdis as she feeds her great love. Erik has not been with us this Christmas. He fell asleep quietly on 13 December in Fredrikstad, while this case was being prepared. But the love has been there for 53 years. The family has given permission for us to tell the story after he passed away. When they met at a village dance, Erik was 17 years old. Vigdis had just turned 18. Since then they have been dancing. They have been in the same dance association for 40 years. 50 years ago it was easier to meet your great love in your early 20s. Photo: PRIVAT More young people are single now 1.4 million Norwegians over the age of 18 do not have a permanent partner, according to a survey carried out by news in 2021. Over the past 30 years, the proportion who are not cohabiting has increased, and the change is the greatest for those aged 20–30. One in two aged 25–29 is single, statistics from Statistics Norway show. – When you were healthy, you looked after me, says Vigdis. They hold their hands close. Erik’s hands, who have spent their entire adult life looking after others, are no longer able to eat themselves. Photo: ISMAIL BURAK AKKAN / news No one knows if he remembers the sparkling jewelery he gave his girlfriend. But the eyes still glow. Erik has spent the last few days in a nursing home in Fredrikstad. He was 73. His loved one for 53 years was there every single day. Photo: ISMAIL BURAK AKKAN / news When the dementia started, he suddenly wondered who Vigdis was. – Then the tears came. But I know that love is here from my side. He’s my man no matter what. Photo: ISMAIL BURAK AKKAN / news Vigdis was by Erik’s side no matter what. She believes the single wave may be about young people’s priorities having changed. – I think they want to have more free time for themselves. I doubt whether it is healthy for the relationship in the long run. Photo: PRIVAT She believes that their generation was more dependent on each other than today’s young people. She cites many construction projects they had together as an example. Having said that, Vigdis and Erik have not only had rosy days. – It would have been very boring, she laughs. Photo: ISMAIL BURAK AKKAN / news Photo: ISMAIL BURAK AKKAN / news When asked what they argued about the most, Vigdis replies that it was quite innocent things. But Vigdis also thinks it is important to be independent and independent, but that you still have to look after each other and show respect. – The most important thing is that you don’t try to change each other. I think there are many couples who would like to change their spouse, but it is not easy to change how you are. Although rare, there are young couples who have stayed together for years, like the older couple who were separated by death. Photo: PRIVATE PHOTO FROM 2012 Frida (29) and Fredrik (28) met each other in 2010, when warm feelings arose in the school yard at Inderøy high school. Already from the first day they had found the tone. They were together all the time, as part of a group of friends. – You should stay together, said a friend in the group. No, no, was the answer from the young Frida. She was already madly in love with Fredrik, but was afraid of ruining the friendship after a possible rejection. Photo: Bent Lindsetmo – I thought Fredrik was too cool for me, laughs Frida when she thinks about the beginning of the relationship ten years ago. When Fredrik heard that she was not interested in him, it hurt Fredrik. Their hearts sailed to others before they landed in the right place. Although it took a long time before they dared to open up to each other, the two of them nevertheless became just over New Year’s in 2012. – It is easier when there are two of you. We have grown up together and become stronger both as a couple and as individuals, says Frida. However, the last ten years have not lacked adversity. She reminisces back to the beginning of the relationship when Fredrik was studying to become an actor in Verdalen. She moved in with no purpose other than to be with Fredrik. – It has been quite difficult, she admits. Photo: PRIVATE PHOTO FROM 2012 Fredrik had an established network at school, while she didn’t know anyone. It was also Frida who was responsible for all the food and dinners, since Fredrik had to be a good student. – It was a bit stressful living on one salary and Fredrik’s student loan, but it went surprisingly well. According to her, Frida has a fairly relaxed relationship with money. – I thought it was natural and quite fair that it should be like that. Later, she also studied while Fredrik worked. Photo: Bent Lindsetmo Buying an apartment was also a dark cloud for the couple’s relationship. – When we bought an apartment, we agreed and were full of enthusiasm. Unfortunately, it quickly became clear that we had been too impulsive. The apartment was difficult to sell, and the joint debt skyrocketed. They ended up as involuntary landlords for two years, while expenses only increased and bad news poured in. – The situation seemed hopeless. But through this ordeal we learned to cope with defeat and deal with adversity in a better way, says Frida. Photo: PRIVATE PHOTO FROM 2018 Make room for the good things Before, Frida could react strongly if Fredrik forgot to close a cupboard door, especially if she had already had a bad day and needed to relieve the pressure. – It was not necessarily about what Fredrik had done or not done. Now my perspective has changed. If I see a mess or something untidy at home, I think about it differently. Photo: PRIVATE PHOTO FROM 2013 Now she tries to take into account whether Fredrik has had a busy day. – Make room for the good things rather than the negative. You will never find a perfect person, so why look for perfection. She can also have a lot of mood swings around menstruation. It has been difficult for Fredrik to understand. – If I notice that there is a difference from normal Frida, I don’t let things get to me. You get used to it eventually, says Fredrik. Tips from Frida and Fredrik Take care of each other! Do not enter a discussion with the goal of winning – enter to gain a better understanding of each other. Let things pass from time to time and focus on the positive Talk openly about things that can gnaw over time Give small gestures to show love and respect Don’t go on autopilot! Have sex, don’t forget it! Get to know each other’s love language Get knowledge, among other things, via couple therapy podcasts Sharing similar interests has been absolutely crucial for them. The pair have a joint stream channel on Twitch and joint training routines. – We also save together; more of the funds went to Fredrik’s armchair, laughs Frida. Photo: PRIVATE PHOTO FROM 2023 Frida believes that it has become more difficult to find a good, stable permanent relationship now. – Those who want a partner, a long-term partner, I think will find it. I think maybe you just have to look a little further. Photo: Bent Lindsetmo Nevertheless, she is very happy that she doesn’t have to be searching and meeting new people all the time. – I think I’m terribly bad at it, she laughs. It is easy to believe that today’s generation has greater opportunities to find a partner with the help of dating apps. When a research team at NTNU delved into Tinder a few years ago, they discovered that eight out of ten users in Norway did not connect with a new partner via the dating app. The result caused a stir around the world. – On Tinder you only see the good sides people want to show. You never know who is at the back, says Bjørn Olav (32). Our love journey north through the country now meets Emma and Bjørn Olav. They have met each other the old way. They live in a defense residence at Høybuktmoen, where Bjørn-Olav currently works as a technician. Emma works as a kindergarten teacher at Hesseng. They have lived here with their two daughters, Frida Marie (6) and Charlotte (4), and two cats since 2020. Photo: Sebastian Faugstad Their journey had started at a nightclub in Jessheim over ten years ago. Bjørn Olav was not going out this evening, but was asked at the last minute by an acquaintance. There was Emma. Photo: PRIVAT Peace in the hospital bed In 2016, Emma became seriously ill and spent a long time in hospital. It was there in the hospital bed that she decided to propose to Bjørn-Olav, who had been her rock through the difficult period. Photo: PRIVATE Bjørn was there for me through everything and he made an enormous effort to support me, says Emma, - So I thought, why not make it official? I proposed to him in the hospital and luckily he said yes. Photo: PRIVAT Grateful for the years It has taken time to get to where we are now, says Bjørn when news asks about the ten years. – I am grateful that the relationship has been relatively predictable and quiet compared to some other stories I have heard. It happens that Emma’s emotional life is like a roller coaster. She must have struggled with postpartum depression. Photo: Sebastian Faugstad The man has been her support through everything. – He listens to me without trying to fix everything, which is very important to me, says the mother of two. Experience taught him to listen. It has taken time for Bjørn to understand that sometimes she just wants to express herself, not necessarily find solutions. – Men are often pragmatic and look for solutions. Experience has taught me that sometimes all you have to do is listen. Photo: Sebastian Faugstad Emma and Bjørn-Olav have entered into an agreement. Until 2026, he is the one who gets to decide that they will live at Høybuktmoen in Sør-Varanger. After that it’s Emma’s turn, and then they move south, where she has ambitions to study. – Then the whole rowing moves down, says Bjørn-Olav. Tips from Emma and Bjørn-Olav You have to give and take. I have a black belt in cleaning, while she is good at messing up. Sometimes I have felt more like a maid than a husband. You have to work on yourself as much as you communicate with the other party. Being open and honest helps us build trust, even when it’s difficult. According to Statistics Norway, it is especially after a few years of marriage that many feel that the breakup is a fact. Most people who divorce have been married between 10 and 14 years. When asked why they still want each other after so many years, Emma laughs and looks at the great love of her life. – We are good. We have two wonderful children and I see no reason to look for anyone else. The couple does not skimp on words of wisdom: – The grass is not always greener on the other side. It’s greenest where you water.
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This is how they succeed in keeping their love warm – Direct
