– When we were growing up it was not macho to talk about feelings. Through films, series and pop culture in general, we learned that boys shouldn’t cry. Abubakar “Abu” Hussain says so. He is, among other things, host of the radio program “Med All Respekt”, and a familiar face in the program “Sofa”. In the latter, he comments on what happens on the TV screen with his best friend Mayoo Indiran. In 2016, Abu went through a difficult period with heart failure and depression, and was looking for someone who could help him get started with training. A message to Mayoo Indiran, then known from Paradise Hotel, was to be the turning point. – In that message I saw someone asking for help to find the spark of life back, to live and survive. Then we started training together, found chemistry and became best friends, says Mayoo. There is always a good atmosphere between Abubakar “Abu” Hussain and Mayoo Indiran. Photo: Ulrik Kramer / news Performance and competition According to psychologist Tommy Monsen Sotkajærvi, men often become friends based on common interests. A meeting place to do sporting activities or other things. – Traditionally, men have often been socialized more through physical play, achievements and competitions since they were boys. Men and boys are often more physical than women in their dealings with others, adds Sotkajærvi. While women have been socialized to a greater extent through conversations since they were girls. Their relationship with friends is more often characterized by a deeper connection with more exchange of feelings, according to him. Fewer men seek help Furthermore, he points out that even though times have changed, there are still differences in how men and women express feelings. – When men are not feeling well, they have a greater tendency to withdraw without having someone to talk to about their feelings, the psychologist explains. According to psychologist specialist Tommy Monsen Sotkajærvi, men often become friends based on common interests. – That is why men – on a group level – can cope worse when they suffer psychologically. Fewer men than women seek out others for help, and this can have very negative consequences, he says. – Be strong in the head Abu and Mayoo recognize how difficult it can be for boys to talk about how one actually feels. When they were growing up, it was not socially accepted for a boy to show emotions. – There was never room to talk about feelings, says Abu. It had a big impact on both of them, but especially on Mayoo: – When you grow up in the “ghetto” at Stovner, you can’t cry or show emotion. You must show anger and aggression. Being strong had a completely different meaning for me then than it does now, he says. – Now it is about being strong to be able to handle the situation and to cope with the challenges you face, he adds. – Be strong in the head, quite simply, Abu interjected. You can see Abubakar “Abu” Hussain and Mayoo Indiran in “The World’s Best Friends” on news 1 Saturday. Photo: Ulrik Kramer / news Progress in the last 10 years Both feel that there is much more room for boys to talk about feelings now than 10 years ago. – It is an important progress. It is important that there is a focus on men’s mental health, Abu underlines. In each other they have found someone with whom they can share their innermost thoughts. – I have not let anyone else into my life other than Abu, says Mayoo. In their friendship, there is room for both nonsense and nonsense, as well as more serious topics. – It is good to see that boys can also have this type of friendship. That you have a friend you can talk openly and honestly with, adds Mayoo. Get to know Abu and Mayoo better in “The World’s Best Friends” on news 1 Saturday at 19.50.
ttn-69
– There was never room to talk about feelings – news Culture and entertainment
