– I learned something today that feels illegal to know, says Erika Tham in a video on TikTok. It has been viewed 7.7 million times. You may have heard of “love bombing” and “breadcrumbing”? The “penny method” is a combination of these two. It involves manipulating the person you date so that they twist you around their little finger, without you noticing that they give less and less in the relationship. Are you getting confused by all these terms? Here are some explanations: Happens a lot Juli Sofie P. Svendsbø (23) and Martine Olsen Steig (23) have not themselves been exposed to the “penny method”, but say that they have experienced similar dating methods. – There are guys who keep you in a situation ship for six months without anything happening. They just keep you there. It happens to a lot of people. She has experienced that herself. – When I stopped being interested, he came back. It became a bond in a way, says Svendsbø. Juli Sofie P. Svendsbø (23) thinks the “penny method” sounds completely rubbish. – It is objectification of girls and it just has to be cut out. Photo: Per-Kåre Sandbakk / news Both Svendsbø and Steig have boyfriends today, but talk about female friends who have had similar experiences. – I have friends who are very happy to get a glass of water, says Steig. Steig and Svendsbø check out the “penny method” on TikTok. They say it reminds them of a lot they have heard before. Photo: Per-Kåre Sandbakk / news They also think girls use such manipulation techniques. – It’s not just something the boys should wear, says Svendsbø. At the same time, she points out that in their group only girls have been exposed to it. Have you experienced manipulation when dating? Yes often I’ve experienced it rarely I’ve never experienced it Show result Reminds me of gambling – Of course it’s manipulation, says Eva Tryti. She has worked as a psychologist for almost 30 years, and says that the “penny method” is based on a behavioral theory that can be reminiscent of gambling. The purpose of the method is to get the other person hooked. – You never know when the reward will come. That’s why it becomes addictive. Tryti says it will work as a hook in the end. – The less you get, the more you dream about what it was like. Easy to fall into the trap Nikoline Edvardsen (19), Martine Bram (21) and Sunniva Vanglo (21) say that there are many trends on TikTok that are about getting the other party hooked. – There have been many expressions and recipes within dating, says Bram. – It is very unhealthy if this becomes a standard for how one should behave, says Edvardsen. MORE ATTENTION: Students have become more aware of manipulation techniques in dating in recent years. Photo: Helene Myre / news They say they stay away if they notice tendencies towards manipulation in the person they are dating. – It was easy to fall into the trap when I was younger, but now I feel that I pull away very quickly if I spot the red flags, says Edvardsen. ATTENTION: Edvardsen has become more aware of whether the date is manipulating or not. Photo: Helene Myre / news Probably always existed Eva Tryti says manipulation within dating has probably always existed, but that it periodically becomes a trend. TIKTOK: The video of Erika Tham explaining a manipulation method used in dating has 7.7 million views. Photo: Per-Kåre Sandbakk / news – There are various manipulation techniques. Throughout the ages, the techniques and those who use them have been called different things. The psychological specialist says it also happens in many age groups. – And it goes across gender. It’s not just girls who get cheated on. Really not. I see a lot of this. HOOKED: Psychologist specialist Eva Tryti explains how little it takes to become hooked. Photo: Per-Kåre Sandbakk / news She explains that the “penny method” and other similar methods are about keeping someone on the hook. – When you pull away, they start lovebombing again. Then you suddenly get everything you dream of. Society is more narcissistic Tryti says that she helps many people to get out of a manipulative romantic relationship. – Can people do this unconsciously? – Yes, if you are used to manipulation, it will become automated. You don’t think about which technique you use, you just do it. Because then you get what you want. But most of us are not like that. The psychology specialist says there can be various reasons why people resort to such methods. She points out that society has become more narcissistic. – People can be influenced socially and learn to behave superficially and exploitatively. Some also feel that they are unable to find someone in the usual way. TRENDS: Tryti believes that a more narcissistic society has caused manipulation techniques to trend again. Photo: Per-Kåre Sandbakk / news But she is clear that it destroys real contact and connection. If you fear that you are in a romantic relationship that is destructive, the psychological specialist recommends seeing a professional who can explain to you what it is, and help you out of it if that is what you want. Hello! Welcome to dialogue at news. Since you are logged in to other news services, you do not have to log in again here, but we need your consent to our terms of use for online dialogue
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The “penny method” trends on TikTok – warns against manipulation in dating – news Sørlandet – Local news, TV and radio
