– At home I’m mum Frie, Friederike smiles happily. On Saturday, the twins turned ten, and it also marks ten years that Friederike Urbassek Hoffmann has been a mother without rights. At home, there is no doubt: Friederike is mum, together with mum Lu (Luciane). But the state does not approve that Friederike is the twins’ mother. – It affects my children that they grow up in a family that is discriminated against, says Friederike. Photo: Karoline Forberg / news – We have never had problems being accepted as a family in society. It is only the Norwegian state that has problems with us, says the mother of two. Last week, the Liberal Party submitted a representation proposal to the Storting. It aims to ensure that all parents have the opportunity to be the parent of their own child. Regardless of whether there are two fathers, two mothers or one of each. – I have never heard or read so clearly that any politician has understood our situation, says Friederike. It gives Friederike new motivation to read the new bill. She feels that rainbow families, like her own, are finally being taken seriously and accepted. Photo: Privat The state’s differential treatment In the current regulations, the man to whom the mother is married when she has a child is automatically considered the child’s father. This is the so-called pater est rule (see fact box). But in a lesbian couple, the woman to whom the mother is married at the time of birth is not automatically designated as the child’s legal co-mother. The Liberals will solve this by gender neutralizing the pater est rule. It does not emphasize biology, and is created as security for the child by ensuring that as many children as possible grow up with two parents. What is the pater est rule? Pater est is an abbreviation for the Latin “pater est quem nuptiae demonstrant” which means “it is the father that marriage shows”. In practice, the rule means that the mother’s husband or common-law partner is assumed to be the father of the children she gives birth to. No paternity test required. The rule disregards the fact that the man must be the biological father because that creates security for care and provision from the start of the child’s life. If the mother has been unfaithful or the partners have struggled to have children on their own, then the mother’s partner or husband will be designated as the child’s father anyway. The rule will ensure that a large proportion of children will always have two parents from the start. Source: Regjeringen.no, among others. As Norwegian law currently stands, this security only applies to children whose parents are heterosexual. Venstre proposes that both mothers get legal custody as soon as the child is born. As the fathers in heterosexual relationships get. – I do not understand that this security should be emphasized more strongly in heterosexual couples than in same-sex couples. Liberal politician Grunde Almeland believes that the current pater est rule is directly discriminatory against lesbian parents. Photo: Thea Elvestuen This is what Storting representative Grunde Almeland, who is one of the Liberal politicians who submitted the bill, says. The last time a similar change in the law was proposed was in 2021. Then the Children’s Law Committee did not proceed with the bill. It didn’t get far enough to be voted on. Now the Liberal Party is proposing a change in the law that has never before been more concrete. – This time I sincerely believe that the proposal will go through, says the Liberal politician. The wrong donor creates the “wrong” family When Friederike and Luciane decided to have a child, they wanted to do it with a man they knew. They found a mutual friend who wanted to be in the child’s life, but without the main responsibility. Luciane and Friederike were to have primary responsibility and parental rights. The father of the children looks after them a lot on weekends, holidays and they celebrate the holidays together. But in everyday life, the children live with their mothers. Photo: Privat But because the married couple had stated who the sperm donor was, the pater est rule meant that the father automatically got the parental role and rights. Because in Norway, lesbian couples only have the right to assisted fertilization at an approved health institution. Then the couple does not have the opportunity to choose a sperm donor. The child only has the right to get to know the donor after reaching the age of 18. – I am completely without parental rights vis-à-vis our common children, and my children are completely without rights vis-à-vis me, says Friederike despairingly. Friederike’s challenges in everyday life: Friederike lists a number of problems they have encountered. The challenges are especially great because Luciane works on a rotating basis in another city, and is away for two weeks at a time. The children do not appear on Friederike’s Health Norway profile. This means that she cannot book doctor’s appointments or check results. Which was extra complicated during corona with corona tests. She cannot collect prescription medicine for the children. If his wife Luciane were to pass away, Friederike has no guarantee that the children can stay with her. If Friederike passes away, the inheritance and life insurance will only go to Luciane. If both parents pass away, Friederike’s life insurance or inheritance does not go to anyone. Should the couple go their separate ways, Friederike has no right to see her children. Must bring a sheet of exemption from confidentiality to go to the doctor or parenting interview with the children. No parental leave. Fateful spring In the spring of 2025, the government will present a proposal for a new Children’s Act. Minister for Children and Families Kjersti Toppe says that questions and possible new rules for parenting among same-sex couples must be considered. – The aim of the new law is to help prevent parental conflicts and to provide more support for equal parenting, says Toppe. Toppe says that they are well underway with the work, and that they have already sent out several proposals for consultation. Minister for Children and Families Kjersti Toppe says Venstre’s concrete proposals are handled according to routines, and that they must come back to the matter when it is taken up in the autumn. Photo: William Jobling / news Chairwoman of FRI (the association for gender and sexuality diversity) Oslo and Viken, Marianne Gulli, is positive about Venstre’s bill. Marianne Gulli believes that the law must take into account the best interests of the child. In that, she adds that the child’s primary guardians and carers are the ones who will be given parentage. Photo: Petter Ruud-Johansen But she believes that the fight for equality must go even further. – We believe that there is also a greater proportion of laws that need to be changed and/or made gender neutral in order to guarantee the rights of rainbow families, says Gulli. Gulli believes that all laws that can be made gender neutral should be made gender neutral. Friederike is unsure whether the law will have retroactive effect so that she can actually get parental rights. But enjoys other lesbian couples. – Finally someone who speaks our case, says Friederike with blank eyes. Here you can read the whole story about Friederike’s fight and Bufetat region öst’s response: Published 07.07.2024, at 17.43
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The Liberals will change the law to prevent discrimination against lesbian parents – news Vestland
