The holiday with the children never disappointed – Ytring

Sarah Uldal’s chronicle “Summer vacation – do I have to?” is sad reading. How do you end up where she is? That you dread going on holiday with your own children. That holidaying with your own children is experienced as ‘stamping out of one job and into another. Into the unpaid”. That to endure a holiday with your own children you must have an adult holiday in New York to look forward to? We were parents of small children in the early 2000s, alongside being full-time workers in demanding professions. We adapted our everyday life as best we could to the fact that we had chosen to have three children. The holiday season was something we always looked forward to, because it meant more time and peace with our children. And we were never disappointed. Before I go any further: I assume healthy children with no special needs; otherwise, the world is completely different. Uldal’s description of the holiday season perhaps says the most about the times we live in. You hear more and more often parents of young children complaining about how “tough” it is to have children. Why has it become like this? It is hardly about “not being grateful enough” or “motherly enough”, as Uldal believes she will be accused of. I think it’s primarily about not making your own, independent and conscious choices about how our family should be. In addition, I unfortunately think it is also about self-absorption; that it has become difficult for many to accept and appreciate that when you choose something (here: to have children) you also choose something away. Uldal talks about the “hamster wheel” and about “being suffocated by expectations”. Well, the hamster wheel you choose to run in; it is a priority. Other people’s expectations, to the extent that they are real (who decided that you should spend thousands of kroner at Legoland?), you choose whether you want to fulfill them. If a holiday with your own children has become as demanding as Uldal describes, you as an adult should go within yourself and analyze the reasons. It is not the children’s fault. Finally: I encourage Uldal – and many people with her – to read mother and educator Helene Birkeland’s chronicle in news Ytring. It is a wise and insightful description of what a nice summer holiday with the children can be. Follow the debate:



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