Christmas carols. Perhaps, next to the Grand Prix songs, they are the most loved and hated songs of them all. Three musical minutes can either create warmth or disgust, comfort or nausea, idyll or irritation. We’ve asked a bunch of music critics what they think are the best and worst Christmas songs of all time. And which tunes should be chosen if the Christmas dinner is to be of the pleasant kind. What ingredients should a good Christmas song have? How does magic happen on the menu? Music reviewer Espen Borge has some thoughts. – For me, the best Christmas songs are those that do not insist that Christmas is an undivided positive experience with completely banal utopias such as that Christmas is green and red, covered in white snow and that Santa Claus is a cozy old man with gifts. Borge adds: – Unfortunately, that applies to the very, very most of them – like other Christmas culture, Christmas songs are generally a cheap and undignified affair. So what are the best and worst songs? Vote for your favorite at the bottom of the article! – A sparkling example Let’s start with the beloved Christmas songs. Sandeep Singh has a perhaps somewhat original favorite: He says he wants to strike a blow for the oft-hated “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney. – Well, it’s silly, but also quite innovative with its trembling synth groove. The song also has the necessary balance between cold and warm sounds, which fits perfectly with the time of year when the weather is at its coldest and the living room at its warmest, says Singh. Espen Borge strikes a blow for a love tribute to the north. – It makes me happy when I hear Trygve Hoff’s “Northern Norwegian Christmas hymn”, provided it is not sung in an Eastern dialect. Little is as beautiful as northern Norway in winter, and the phrase “D’e far south to Bethlehem” alone is a sparkling example of the hurt and pride that lies up there in the darkness. REVIEWER: Espen Borge’s heart warms when he hears “North Norwegian Christmas carol”, but it is important that it is in the right dialect. Shana Mathai goes for the English language costume, and an over 50-year-old song treasure, Happy Xmas (War is over) by John Lennon & Yoko Ono. – Not a particularly original choice, perhaps. Still, I love this one, both the mood and the lyrics. The delicious get-together vibe, the unpretentious and straightforward musical packaging, Lennon’s characteristic and genuine communication style, the uplifting chorus. Never get tired. With the banana as a microphone CREATIVE: Shana Mathai strikes a blow for the banana as a microphone, especially when the favorite song for Christmas is playing. Photo: news Mathai also has a “guilty pleasure” to offer: “All I Want For Christmas Is You” with Mariah Carey. – I desperately try to deny to myself that this is on my top list. It doesn’t get more mainstream than this. Mariah is bathing in gold and diamonds because of this one. But she says that in the end she has to be honest with herself, and admits: – No matter how annoying it is to constantly have it on my mind, I love it. Simply. It’s satisfying in every way, and I feel like a diva when I sing it in the living room with a banana as a microphone. Like that! The cat is out of the closet. Or the box. Or the bag, I don’t remember. At least it’s out! HIT: Mariah Carey is behind one of the most iconic and successful Christmas songs of all time. Carey doesn’t want presents under the tree, only to get her best friend for Christmas. Photo: Record cover – Disgusting melody So which is the worst Christmas song? Which gives chafing in the ears and discomfort in the soul? Music reviewers Sandeep Singh and Espen Borge have the same clear top candidate. It’s about a controversial charity song from 1984, written to help children in Africa. – Band Aid and “Do They Know It’s Christmas” are the worst. Honorable intentions notwithstanding, they ended up with derogatory lyrics and an obnoxious melody, says Singh bombastically. SLAUGHTER: Sandeep Singh sharpens the critic’s pen properly when he mentions “Do You They Know It’s Christmas”. Photo: Kim Erlandsen Borge agrees, and thinks the song is terrible. – Already in the title, we are served an arrogant and puffed-up, Western condescension which is presumably meant to be well seen with 80s glasses, but which only appears racist and inappropriate. He believes it also contains far too much of “the most annoying musician of all time”, Bono. – Fortunately, it seems that the world has put such cooperative nonsense behind it, and that we will never again have to stare into the orange glasses and see the cynical pseudo-philanthropy in his greedy eyes. CONTROVERSIAL: Both the song and the cover of the Band Aid song “Do They Know It’s Christmas” have received a lot of criticism. Two out of three reviewers we have asked think it is the very worst Christmas song. Photo: Record cover – It’s itching in the ear A Canadian cream puff stands for the worst Christmas song of all time, says Shana Mathai. She refers to Justin Bieber and his “Mistletoe”. – Actually, there is something immediately catchy about this uber-pop Christmas song, if you eliminate the song itself. Because as soon as Bieber starts singing, I feel an itch in my ear, it tingles so unpleasantly under my skin, I get a strong urge to turn it off. Mathai continues his tirade of criticism like this: – He is simply sleazy, such a nasty guy who thinks he is the hottest in the world, who hangs out by the mistletoe and tries to catch some babes. It all becomes far too “glamorous”, too presumptuously sexy. And when they try to spice it up with a bit of reggae later in the song, everything only gets worse. “Your lips on my lips, that’s a merry merry Christmas”. Diaper. LOVED AND HATED: Justin Bieber and his songs are often met with anything but indifference. Our reviewer Shana Fevang Mathai has particularly little to spare for his song Mistletoe. Photo: Cindy Ord Vortex of clichés But the slaughter does not stop there, there are several songs that will be reviewed. The next song out is “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” by Elmo and Patsy. – This one is really a breath of fresh air into Christmas music’s vortex of clichés. But still. There’s really nothing about this song that gives that nice, soft Christmas feeling, the one that makes everything feel bright and cozy and magical. She paints on with juicy glosses. – Neither the dance band comp, the enervating vocals nor the morbid story about poor Grandma make it what a Christmas song should be. This is simply a very strange and unappealing corner of the Christmas music canon, which may well disappear, half a century has passed after all. Finally, Mathai pulls out a song that most people can hum along to, regardless of their level of musical expertise. “Feliz navidad” with Jose Flizianao. – It is nice to be wished Merry Christmas in several languages. Still, I can’t make friends with this song. On the contrary. The thing is, I can’t quite put my finger on why, whether it’s because I still have a slightly troubled relationship with Mexican music after working in a Mexican restaurant in 2005, or whether it’s just because the hook is annoying. I need to do some more research on this I think. Summary And that’s where our journey into the world of Christmas music stops, both the hotly praised and especially slaughtered variety. The conclusion is: Regardless of whether you want to take out the banana and sing along, or just sit quietly and listen, regardless of whether you are celebrating alone or going “home for Christmas”: There is always a Christmas song for you. And soon we can say, as one sings it in the big hit: Hey, now it’s Christmas again! Which Christmas song is the best of all time? Wonderful Christmastime North Norwegian hymn All I Want For Christmas Is You Happy Xmas (War is Over) I love all Christmas music! Show result Which Christmas song is the worst of all time? Do They Know It’s Christmas Mistletoe Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer I hate Christmas carols in general Show result
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