At Lindgården nursing home in Broby, the residents are reminded of sex. The nursing home welcomes new people with an offer of a voluntary conversation about sexual education when they move in – if they want to. This is a nice book, says Nils (96) in the common room in the nursing home. Photo: SERGEI GAPON / AFP – It should not be a taboo to talk about the sexuality of the elderly. This is what Liselotte Nilsson Klang (54) says to Sveriges Radio. She is the day-to-day manager at the nursing home. Scary at the start Some demanding events in the nursing home led them to start a project on sexual health a year ago. In the past, the staff didn’t feel comfortable seeing a resident masturbating or really couldn’t understand why someone needed help booking a hotel room. – Having good sexual health is one of our basic needs, says Klang. With age, most people will notice that the physical desire for sex and the urge become somewhat less. Photo: SERGEI GAPON / AFP – I think society needs to change the way it thinks about this. We are not an age, but individuals, says the general manager to AFP. The project has been met with positive reactions, a lot of humour, curiosity, but also a certain modesty. – It can take weeks from the first conversation to the moment when they dare to come and talk more about it, says Klang. The residents get to talk about their sex life as soon as they enter the door. Photo: SERGEI GAPON / AFP Nevertheless, these conversations often turn into deep discussions where you can talk about grief, loss or missing a partner. – What counts is that the elderly know they have someone to talk to about this, says Klang. Emilie Nilsson, a 39-year-old assistant nurse, admits that it was a little scary at first. – But the more you work on it, the more you understand that it’s not just about sex. It’s about closeness, and that everyone needs a hug. Can choose from a “basket of pleasure” To make the residents happy, the nursing home has put together a “basket of pleasure”. The basket contains, among other things, a “Do not disturb” sign, various creams and lubricants, dildos, penis pumps and penis rings. The basket contains a “Do Not Disturb” sign. Photo: SERGEI GAPON / AFP The nursing home also works to ensure that prescriptions for potency drugs are not removed just because the patient moves to a nursing home. – It’s a fun way that implicitly makes this as natural as picking up an apple or orange in another basket, says Terje Tilden at Modum Bad. The basket contains, among other things, a “Please do not disturb” sign, various creams and lubricants, dildos, penis pumps and penis rings. SVT He works as a senior researcher at Modum Bad. It is an institution that will promote mental health and quality of life. He believes that availability will reduce embarrassment and shame about showing others that one has such needs. – It gives a signal from staff and nursing home management that this is natural and accepted, he adds. – Can be perceived as disgusting With age, most people will notice that the physical desire for sex and the urge become somewhat less. This can create changes and challenges related to sex with oneself, and sex with a partner with or without intercourse. – Because there are solutions, both medical and technical, including potency agents, lubricants, vibrators, artificial vaginas, very many of these challenges can be solved in fairly simple ways, says Tilden. A good and exemplary example that should inspire others, says researcher Terje Tilden about the Swedish project. Photo: Modum Bad The researcher believes that the biggest problem is that those around them do not believe that older people need a sex life. As a result, older people who want to have a sex life can be met with skepticism and resistance. – Some may think that the elderly and sex do not belong together, and it can be perceived as disgusting and possibly something that does not come under work instructions within the nursing and care sector, says Tilden. In particular, this will affect those who become dependent on help, such as when they come to a nursing home, he believes. – We probably have to work on our attitudes which often suggest that sex is something that is associated with young, successful people with beautiful, healthy bodies, says the researcher. Age itself, illness, medicines and loss of a partner are elements that mean that older adults can experience challenges related to sexuality and their sex life. Photo: SERGEI GAPON / AFP He previously worked on the topic under the auspices of the Norwegian Handikapforbund in the 80s. – Showing the breadth as it really is, and making it possible for the elderly and those with functional impairments to have both the need and the right to have sex helps protect human dignity in all phases of life, so I think the example from Sweden is exemplary. Here at Lindgården nursing home in Broby, the talk is about everything and nothing. SVT Follows us to the grave In a study carried out by Bente Træen et al. in 2018 it emerged that over 90 per cent of Norwegian men between the ages of 60 and 75 are sexually active. The same applies to nearly 75 per cent of women. – Sexuality is part of our concept of health, and sexuality follows us from the cradle to the grave. This is what sexologist and sociologist Live Mehlum says. She runs her own clinic in Tjøme. The offer in Sweden is great and important, says sexologist Live Mehlum. Photo: Martin Torstveit / news Sexuality in old age has unfortunately long been associated with silence and shame. Few talk openly about sexual desire, activity or erotic longing in this phase of life, she says. – In other periods of life it is more “permitted” to have sexual needs. Very few arenas – There are complex interactions between sexuality and the general state of health, where both can influence each other in a positive or negative direction, says Mehlum. She previously worked in a nursing home. Now she is part of a project aimed at sexual health in prisons. The sexologist says that the residents of the nursing home were not seen as people with sexual needs. – Older people have few arenas where they can get knowledge and help to talk about sexuality and sexual challenges in an open and informative way, she says. That is why she believes that it is particularly good that conversations about sexuality and sexual health are opened up in the nursing home in Broby. Lack of knowledge Live Mehlum believes that the solution lies in education. – The most important thing is that health personnel in Norwegian nursing homes are made aware and gain knowledge and expertise so that they feel safe in conversation with the residents about the topic. Some difficult incidents at the nursing home led them to start a project on sexual health a year ago. Photo: SERGEI GAPON / AFP The health service in the prisons are afraid to bring up the subject of sexuality and sexual health, she says. – Much based on the fact that they feel they lack knowledge and competence about sexuality but also about how to initiate these conversations. Today, it is even common for doctors not to be aware of the possibility of requisitioning sexual technical aids for patients via Nav, she adds.
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Swedish nursing home helps the elderly spice up their sex life – news Urix – Foreign news and documentaries
