– I am quite sensitive. When I sit at school, I can feel that the crying is pressing on, and that all I want is to go home again, says Oda Brevik. Have you ever felt that everyone around you is out having fun with others, while you are sitting alone in your room? Or that you sit at school, surrounded by many other people, but still feel completely alone? Oda has felt this, and it is something she still feels. Quite often. Over 24,400 students, about 41 per cent, answered in a recent student survey that they have few or no friends. Oda Brevik struggles with anxiety. She thinks it can be difficult to get to know new people, and she has felt that since she moved to a new place. Photo: Remi Sagen / news New place, unknown people Three days before the start of her studies, she moved from safe Løkken Verk in Trøndelag to unknown Molde to start her nursing studies. The bags were packed, and the family got into the car. Oda was looking forward to feeling the feeling of independence, and to challenging herself to get to know new people. But the start didn’t go as she wanted. – There was a lot of laughing. I cried the whole time and called my mom. I panicked a bit that I was here and didn’t know anyone. There were many impressions, and she felt the feeling of not being quite herself. That led to her not being involved as much in Fadderuka. – I had the opportunity to participate, but I couldn’t. I had enough of being at school. Photo: Remi Sagen / news Alone, surrounded by people Almost two months have passed since the start of his studies, and Oda has not yet fully settled in. She feels lonely, both at school and in her free time. – I have found mine that I sit with at school. But I often sit there, and there is a conversation going on around me, but then I still feel left out. About two weeks ago, they had an exercise at school where they had to find a fellow student and share something personal. Then she said that she thought it had been difficult to come to a new city. – And then they also told their opinion. Then I realized that we can all feel the same. Everyone has something they struggle with. Advice for getting out of loneliness Talk to someone you trust Talk to someone you trust about how you feel. By opening up and becoming more personal with someone you trust, the chance increases that the person you tell will also follow up later. It is also possible to see your GP or a psychologist if you need professionals to discuss your problems with. Share positive experiences or experiences Sharing positive experiences or experiences with others has been shown to have a surprisingly positive effect on feelings of loneliness. Seek out social meeting places, such as organized leisure activities and organizational work. If you have an interest or hobby, try to nurture it in a community with others. Try to create routines where you meet the same people time and time again. This is how strangers can eventually become friends. Don’t let fear stop you Don’t let the fear of rejection stop you. Try to take the initiative. Offer yourself and the contacts you already have. Try to focus on how others around you are feeling, more than on your own feelings of loneliness. Use the internet Social media can be a way out of loneliness, at least for those who initially had good relationships, but who for one reason or another have ended up in a situation where they feel lonely. Don’t have too high demands Don’t have too high demands or expectations for a new friendship. It takes time to build close relationships. Source: helsenorge.no Do you feel lonely? Yes, often No, never Sometimes Show result Psychologist Johanne Refseth, who is also behind the account @psykolog.med.sovepose, believes that many young people can relate to what Oda tells about. Photo: Private – Many who recognize Psychologist Johanne Refseth, perhaps better known as the person behind the account @psykolog.med.sovepose, say you can recognize two types of loneliness. Both the one where you have no one to be with, but also: – That you have others to be with, but still don’t feel like part of it. It is a painful loneliness that is not talked about much, but which I hear a lot about in the therapy room. She also describes her studies as a time full of changes. You move away from home, friendships are replaced and you develop enormously. – Experiencing loneliness for periods there is very common. You must take it seriously, but you must know that it is common to feel it. – Oda describes many things that I think sound very common, and I think there are many young people who recognize them, says Johanne Refseth. Oda Brevik is very fond of strength training and going for walks. – It’s very good for the head, and it’s good to feel strong, she says. Photo: Remi Sagen / news – Trying to make it harmless Oda has a goal to challenge himself more socially. She believes that is what is missing for her to be able to thrive in the new city. – Several people have asked if I want to come up with something, and then I answer that it would be nice, but then it stops there. – Is it because of fear? – Yes, but I also think that they just say that to be nice. But then I started to think: “what if they actually want to?”. So I try to make it harmless. I might find my girlfriend that way. So I will try harder, says Oda Brevik and smiles. – I’ve had a lot of negative thoughts, and thought that maybe I should drop out. It is the easiest when it is difficult. But it probably won’t be better to go home to stare at the wall either, says Oda Brevik. Photo: Remi Sagen / news Thoughts? Tips? Hi! Do you have any thoughts on the matter, or tips for something else I can look into? I would love to know!
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Student Oda Brevik moved to Molde to study – feels lonely – news Møre og Romsdal – Local news, TV and radio
