Helene Asphaug recently wrote a column that criticizes the “girlsplaining” trend, and believes that it sets feminism back a step. I think she misunderstood. Girlsplaining has become a trend on social media, and is smarter than it might seem. It is slang for “girl explaining”, and means to explain something in a simpler way, by comparing with examples. It is made by girls and with a language often used by girls. An example could be to compare inflation with the fact that far too many girls are in love with the same boy. It is not meant to be condescending, or to say that girls are stupid, as Asphaug interprets it. It is about explaining things in a playful and youthful way, preferably with irony and humour. Let’s look at it this way: A boy on a vocational course, who is going to become a carpenter, will find it easier to understand maths if the math problems are explained with terms from the carpentry trade. It does not mean that he is dumber than other students. He just needs to have it explained differently. I think it is much better for a girl who doesn’t know much about finance or a historical event to have it explained in a simple way and with comparisons she knows, than for her not to dare to ask, because she is afraid of being perceived like stupid. Girlsplaining has been wonderfully liberating for me. It opens up the possibility that it is permissible to ask stupid questions. Ignorance is not presented as something negative, just something neutral, which does not reduce our value. We girls are often told, directly or indirectly, that we are stupid; that maths and science are for boys, and that liking make-up and clothes is something degrading that excludes intelligence. If we only consider girls smart and worthy because they express themselves in a way we think is acceptable, we are no better than the men who make fun of us. It must be allowed to simply exist as a “girl-girl”, without it being problematized or seen as oppressive. When we say that we are “teenagers in our 20s” or “just a girl”, it can be an expression of feeling that we are not enough. Not only do we have to perform at work, study and home, we also have to be perfect feminists, who never run out of resilience. It is tiring to feel the burden of many generations of oppression on your shoulders. Of course, we are responsible enough to make big life choices (if there’s one thing Norwegian girls hear enough about, it’s that we have to be ambitious). But moving on your own, dealing with finances, studying or working, and facing adulthood is scary. Being a young adult is confusing and lonely, so reminding myself that I am, after all, a young girl who has to deal with all of this alone is comforting. We should listen to everyone who complains about how tiring it is to be an adult. Maybe that means we have a greater need for support? I don’t disagree with everything Asphaug writes. Girlsplaining is not unproblematic. The words we say matter. We should be better at not cutting all girls across the board, especially when it comes to intelligence. It can be interpreted as all girls thinking like this, which in turn can confirm a negative view of women. Moreover, one should be careful not to trivialize events such as the genocide in Palestine, by comparing it to a quarrel between friends at a party. But when done right, girlsplaining is simplification, not dumbing down. The point of fighting for liberation is that the next generation will not have to fight. Leave the teenage girls alone. Let them use girlsplaining if they want. A sign of equality should be that women should not have to defend their intelligence and dignity. Girls must be allowed to be “stupid” without it being seen as a step backwards for humanity. FOLLOW THE DEBATE:
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Smarter than you think – Speech
