Åsa Serholt Jensen found it difficult that her brother did not want to talk about death when he was ill. – He was unable to talk to his children. And it has been difficult for several of them afterwards. They didn’t get to say goodbye, she says. Åsa and the family have noticed how tough it can be when the serious things are not talked about. Now she advises others to talk about the difficult topics in life. TALK ABOUT DEATH: – You may not always be able to share the same thoughts, but there is something about putting into words what you want. You make yourself vulnerable, but you don’t step on anyone else. I think it’s a good starting point, says Åsa Serholt Jensen. Photo: Frode Meskau / news How to talk about death? Åsa talks about the importance of being honest about one’s own needs when it comes to difficult topics of conversation. – When things are difficult, it is always quite safe to talk about yourself. You can always say something about how you yourself experience it, and what you yourself need. Åsa receives support from psychologist Line Marie Warholm. The psychologist says that it can help to share with others. She believes in putting words to feelings and being comforted when there is something painful in life. Warholm believes the most important thing is to know that those around you will be there. Experiencing that others pull away is perhaps the worst. She encourages you to talk to those closest to you. At the same time, it can be difficult when the person who is going to die does not want to talk about it. The psychologist reminds that it is important to have respect for just that. – You cannot force the other person to talk. But then you can perhaps talk to others around you about “this is difficult for me, and he doesn’t want to talk”. But we are all different and there is no conclusion, she adds. The target group is you and me Åsa, who is a nurse herself, is helping to organize a seminar and a themed week about death and openness, 13 years after her brother died. The Development Center for Nursing Homes and Home Services (USHT) in Innlandet is behind the theme week, in collaboration with Hamar municipality. Reidun Hov also works there – who recently led a study in which 60 seriously ill and dying people were interviewed. – It is always too early, until it is too late. When death has come, we cannot change it, says Reidun Hov. THEME WEEK: The organizers hope the seminar and the theme week can “sow” some thoughts in people – which in turn can make it easier to talk about a difficult topic. Photo: Frode Meskau / news The target group for the seminar is you and me, because we are all going to die. But few of us have perhaps had the conversation with our loved ones about faith, doubt and fear. It is difficult both for the person who is going to die and for those closest to them. – Taking courage and being brave, I think that is important. To dare and talk about it. And that you dare to be honest, says Hov. Finding comfort in nature After her brother Ola Serholt died aged just 42, it was difficult to work with the grief for Åsa Serholt Jensen. But she found solace in nature. – I could sometimes feel that I was almost surrounded by nature. That it was somewhat bigger than myself. It was a kind of comfort or vent, she says. His brother Ola was a musician, and he was in the studio almost until the end. Hearing your brother’s music today is also good. – It gives me a lot of contact with who he was. And then there is also a lot of music in his family among his children still. I recognize him in a way in their music too, she says. COMFORT: After her brother died aged just 42, Åsa Serholt Jensen found solace in nature and in the music her brother made. Photo: Frode Meskau / news
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Organizes theme week about death to gain more transparency – news Innlandet – Local news, TV and radio
