Maria is divorced and has two children when Sigmund suddenly appears. A strong crush is followed by a normal cohabitation with washing up, career ambitions and a time crunch. Suddenly he wants out of the relationship. But – he’s the one who doesn’t contribute at home, right? Is she the one who sacrifices time, energy and career? The film “Darling” is a film about a fairly ordinary lady and a fairly ordinary couple who struggle with quite ordinary things. Nevertheless, it has become one of the year’s big talking points. It has received rave reviews and won several awards. But for the actors and the director, it was the response from the audience that took the cake: – Completely unknown people come up to me, almost crying, and want to give me a hug, says Helga Guren. STRONG RESPONSE: Helga Guren and Oddgeir Thune have received an unexpectedly large response from the public since “Elskling” was first shown in cinemas on 11 October. Here they stand outside Marienlyst in Oslo. Photo: MATHILDE WAALE / news Strong meetings It is over six years since Guren read the script for director Lilja Ingolfsdottir for the first time. – We knew even then that this was going to be strong, she says. Messages from known and unknown people have poured in. But not just digital. After a screening at Europe’s oldest film festival, Karlovy Vary in the Czech Republic, a powerful encounter occurred for Guren: – An elderly lady came up to me to say something, but she couldn’t, she just sobbed and cried… I gave her a hug , and then we just stood there. Then we moved on without saying a word. This is some of what people have said to the actors and the director: “You have given me the tools to live.”An unknown person to director Ingolfsdottir👉🏼”Thank you for making me realize that I, too, am a good person. “An unknown person to Helga after viewing.👉🏼”Now we think maybe you have saved our marriage.”An unknown married couple to Oddgeir Thune after viewing. Seeing oneself through others A recognizable scene in the film is when Maria turns away instead of reciprocating the hug from Sigmund. She is mad at him. – It becomes so clear what she has been missing, and how she has solved it by pushing people away. That’s what psychologist specialist Trude Økland says, who has seen “Eskling”. Trude Økland Specialist in clinical adult psychology. Private practitioner in Trondheim. Photo: Torgrim Melhuus This is the magic of good stories, such as films. They can help the viewer to better understand themselves and the world. – You see your own problems in a new perspective, and get help to understand how your own attitudes and behavior affect others, says the psychologist specialist. THERAPY AT SPEED: Over 136,000 Norwegians watched them portray an unusually believable couple in 1 hour and 41 minutes. Photo: Øystein Mamen / Nordisk Film Production Director: – Must be careful about calling it couple therapy Director, screenwriter and you name it, Lilja Ingolfsdottir, says the response has exceeded all expectations. – It has been more than I could have dreamed of. She points out that awards and good reviews are of course a great honor and an important recognition, but: – But what has meant the most to me is how people have seen the film. As Anne Gjelsvik, professor and film researcher, in Montages, describes it: – It is both liberating and demanding to see a woman be as angry as Maria is in this film. Or Mona B. Riise who “ends up looking at myself scrutinizingly in the mirror”. But it will be neither comical nor pathetic, according to Morten S. Nilsen in VG. And the Film Police’s Birger Vestmo scores a six: – Simply a miraculous achievement. Lilja IngolfsdottirDirector, screenwriter, editor, and more. Photo: Anna Lou Mamen Ingolfsdottir receives many emails every day. She is stopped by people on the street who say they are eternally grateful to her for the rest of their lives. – “The film has helped more than all couples therapy sessions combined”, a couple has said. – But one must be careful about saying that it is therapy, emphasizes the director. Hear the actors talk about the response: Psychologist: – These are the most common problems There is no doubt that the film has been a defining experience for many. But to compare it to couples therapy is taking it a bit far, psychologist specialist Sindre Kvithyld Aasli thinks. – It’s a far-fetched comparison, really. In therapy, you yourself are part of the process, it is adapted to each individual couple and usually takes longer than a film. Sindre Kvithyld AasliPsychologist specialist and couples therapist. Affiliated with Psykologvirke AS, department for couple and family therapy. Photo: Refel Abeid Having said that, it is a film that shows how many couples argue, according to the couples therapist. – It is often about whose fault it is. And about who is the woodpecker and who is the ostrich. Who hacks, who hides? This pattern repeats until they move apart. – This is the most common thing in my office. 90 percent of the people who come in to see me usually have a basic pattern, and that is that they resemble the couple in the film. LOW BUDGET FILM: The film cost 10.5 million to produce. In comparison, “The World’s Worst Man” by Joachim Trier cost approx. 81 million. Photo: Øystein Mamen/ Nordisk Film Production As an introduction to therapy The film’s “climax” is when Maria comes to a new, great understanding of herself after finally being able to accept care from the therapist. Sindre K. Aasli believes the film is made in a way that is close to reality. He has also lectured on the film, which he encourages his clients to see. It can act as an entrance to therapy, according to Aasli. – It means a lot to us people to see stories like this. We think: “They made it happen, then we can make it happen.” What do you think of the film? Fantastic. The film has contributed to a better life together ❤️ I didn’t exactly cry. But it was good! ☺️ Don’t know. But films that take everyday life seriously are good 👏🏻 Not quite my type of film 🤷🏼 Haven’t seen it 😌 Show result The psychologist’s three best tips for couples who want guidance: Pay attention: Is it the same problem time and time again? What happens between you when the conflict arises? Try going from being a player to sitting in the stands and seeing it all from above. Who are you in the conflict? Woodpecker or ostrich? How does your partner react when you act? When you are really annoyed with your partner, try to notice other feelings. Are you also afraid, sad, or ashamed? Director Lilja Ingolfsdottir and partner and photographer Øysten Mamen have made the film together. Hear Lilja tell: The film “Love” Photo: Øystein Mamen/ Nordisk Film Production Award-winning Norwegian drama film Director, script, cut, production design: Lilja Ingolfsdottir Premiere 11 October 2024 Actors: Helga Guren, Oddgeir Thune, Heidi Gjermundsen Broch, Marte Magnusdotter Solem, Elisabeth Sand, Maja Tothammer-Hruza, and more. Photo: Øystein Mamen Sound design: Bror Kristiansen Producer: Thomas Robsahm Production company: Nordisk Film AS Budget: 10.5 million Published 14.12.2024, at 07.59
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