Santa has been here and left behind a bunch of packages, but so has Psycho Santa, who often ignites a firework of emotions in young and old. Father Christmas is a simple soul who buys innocent packages in shopping centres. Psycho Santa is Santa Claus’s half-brother, who in a cunning or inscrutable way rummages through the entire emotional register that Christmas presents hold the key to. Were you simply happy that someone had seen what you needed? Ecstatic about a new gadget? Or do you feel compelled to go with that cheesy sweater your aunt thinks you need? Some were probably disappointed, envious or jealous because someone got something that others should rather have. Perhaps you have a nagging feeling of not being able to repay a slightly too large and expensive gift. And all to the slightly condemning tones of those who believe that everything is commercial and discriminatory. The word “gift” sounds simple and nice. The giver will wish you well, and the recipient will be a little happier, with no strings attached… or so. If you’ve ever felt the obligation to dress up or travel with a gift, remember an old saying: “Beware of Greeks who bring gifts.” Just like the Trojan horse of the Greeks, gifts can suddenly lead to obligations and at worst feel like a control of the recipient. The reason is that the gift is a gadget that describes the relationship between us. The exchange of gifts between peoples is rooted somewhere in the twilight between biology and culture. Man organizes himself through the division of labour, but then everyone must get something in return. By giving gifts, we signal our willingness to share with others, to incorporate and affirm them as important parts of our lives. Thus, we can also keep people out by not giving them anything. Those who are poor not only experience poor advice, but also a weak social network. The cruelty of the outside world is at the heart of Uncle Skrue, which was originally described by Charles Dickens in a Christmas story. The Christmas present tells whether you are inside or outside. The condition for sharing is to get something back on the emotional level. That is why the gift is also a Trojan horse. Now I have shared with you, so what do you want with me? Gifts tell who the giver and recipient are to each other, and have strong elements of cultural rules. There are no cultures that do not regulate when, how and who should give gifts. The gifts rivet the giver and recipient into a social web with all the complications that can arise in families and at workplaces. This is where the psycho Santa builds up the fireworks. Therefore, you may have sometimes wondered if your Christmas present was actually discovered. Did your lover understand that it was an expression of love, or did it drown in the rain of gifts? Beneath the generous surface simmers the possibility of blunt rejection and conflict. If you do not acknowledge the gift, you insult the giver. The first commandment of the gift is to receive it with visible joy and recognition. Funny decorated doldrums from six-year-olds go well enough. But you’ve probably at least once received a sweater, a scarf, a book or something else that you don’t want to be seen with at all costs. Perhaps you have experienced that someone wants you to join a club or congregation where you would rather not participate. It’s when you get a gift that you’d rather put away in a box, but still have to use, that you understand what I’m talking about. Then comes the question of giving something back. Here, too, the joy of giving has an ambiguous side. By giving someone a gift that the recipient cannot reciprocate at all, the giver has placed himself at the top of a power and status pyramid. It is fine from parents to children, but becomes uncomfortable between friends and can turn into corruption in working life. Uncomfortably asymmetrical gifts make the recipient feel trapped by the gift. Gift races are out of control late on Christmas Eve when the mountain of presents is still not fully unwrapped, the children have fallen asleep crying from overstimulation, and dad is sitting thinking about how much he has to drive to the recycling station in the next few weeks. This is precisely what has caused many families to slow down the flood of gifts. “This year we won’t give each other anything”, say many, but then one of the parties still gets a pair of home-knitted socks or a change note for a new espresso machine “which we would have bought anyway”. A pure understanding of the gift as a financial transaction also goes wrong. Whoever gives with love and gets paid back for it, will be left with a feeling of prostitution. I’ve seen other attempts at improvising the gift-giving fail, such as making the unwrapping a guessing game about who was going to get gifts without name tags. It started out funny and ended as an orgy in hidden envy and jealousy. In general, it is not so easy to take conscious control over gifts, and especially not over Christmas presents. We can try to defend them through ethical and politically correct gifts, or as a memory of the gifts given to the three wise men at the crib of the baby Jesus. But probably our Christmas presents are just a poorly disguised modernization of the Romans’ midwinter festival. Thousands of years of gifts cannot be abolished because absolutely every aspect of the gift carries with it a psychological meaning, whether it is too small, too big, cunning or completely wrong: Psycho Santa is best controlled with Christmas gifts that give the recipient recognition, freedom and respect.
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Now the Christmas presents are interpreted – Speech
