In an advertisement for Den norske kyrkja which is currently on Snapchat, Instagram and Facebook, they show clips of a number of couples who are getting married in the church. One sees, among other things, a bride in a blue wedding dress, a Sami couple – and a lesbian couple walking up the aisle. Finally, it says “Room for love”, followed by the logo of the Church of Norway. – The main message is that everyone is welcome in the church, says Ingeborg Dybvig, who is responsible for the church’s national campaigns. Many people are of the opinion that it must be a white dress and a large, lavish party if one is to get married, she says. – We want to show that everyone can get married in the church, no matter what one believes in, who one marries and how much money one intends to spend. Screenshot from Snapchat, taken 13.06.2022 at 20.28 – Not real heart room for queer Program leader and TV personality Niklas Baarli is happy that the church will prove to be diverse. – I am incredibly happy that they have that campaign, and that it is a sign of a real change of attitude in the church. But I get a little bad taste in my mouth as long as it is possible for priests to reserve themselves against gay marriage. The church decided in 2016, when they went in to allow same-sex marriage, that priests should have the freedom to choose whether they wanted to marry gays or not. – It is not permeated, real love as long as they can reserve. There are no real heart rooms for queer people, says Baarli. Chose not to get married in the church In February 2017, a same-sex couple got married in the church for the first time, but the road there has not been easy. Only three years before, April 8, 2014, the Synod voted against a proposal that gays should be allowed to marry in the house of God. On the same day, Baarli resigned from the church. – My experience in the church, through many years and through growing up, is that they have fought against me and people like me. So when they voted against gay marriage in recent times, the cup was full. Benjamin Silseth and Niklas Baarli chose the church when they got married. Photo: Privat Baarli has not joined the church again. And when he and his husband Benjamin Silseth got married last year, they chose a humane marriage. While Silseth argued that they should take advantage of the right many in the church have fought for, Baarli had a bad gut feeling. – I feel we had penetrated the church. We have broken in there against the will of many, so I did not want to share my best day with them. They do not deserve it. Then I would rather share it with someone who appreciated us. Trying to take care of both parties Kristine Sandmæl is a rector in Lofoten, and was the first open lesbian rector when she was appointed. She says that the church has taken responsibility for everyone who wants to get married in the church to have the right to do so. Yet she understands that people react to the fact that priests can refuse to marry two of the same sex. – It is perceived as a right to discriminate, but the church tries to take care of both parties. Both those who want to get married and those who for theological reasons do not want to get married. Prost Kristine Sandmæl is also a member of the LGBT committee in the Church of Norway. Photo: Håkon Mosvold Larsen / NTB There has been a lot of adversity for queers throughout the church’s history, also in recent years, she points out. – Do you think it may have done lasting damage to gays’ relationship with the church? – In any case, I believe that it has done something with LGBT people’s trust. And I understand that very well. I myself was at that church meeting (when they voted against same-sex marriage in 2014, journ. Note.) And was very disappointed and sorry, Sandmæl said. – Some react by distancing themselves, but I said that no one should be allowed to take my church away from me. Weakened trust Sandmæl says it has happened that gay couples have sought her out, because they want to be sure that the priest who consecrates them does so with joy. – I want a value where it is not allowed to deny this, and where one does not ask what gender the person you are going to marry has. But that world is probably far away. Niklas Baarli, former host of news P3, says it was painful to grow up where the church did not have room for him. – I’m a little bitter, and I’m a little angry about it, he says. Photo: Tom Øverlie / news P3 Niklas Baarli is happy that queers with a Christian values now have a church to be in – but he believes the church must work hard to rebuild trust in the LGBT community. – They have worked for 2000 years to build up their reputation, so it has not been done in a jiffy. But I hope we can think of the church without getting a cold goose down our backs.
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– Not real heart room – news Norway – Overview of news from different parts of the country
