The case in summary: • Niels de Ruijter donated sperm in 1978 and learned that he contributed to eight children. • He registered his DNA in 2006 after the law in the Netherlands changed and it was no longer allowed to be an anonymous sperm donor.• In 2019 he was contacted by a foundation that had found a match, his daughter Cathalijne Gofferjé-Streppel.• Cathalijne had felt for a long time that something was wrong and learned that she was a donor child when she was 18.• After finding her biological father, Cathalijne says that many pieces fell into place for her.• Niels is now encouraging other donor fathers to register their DNA and be open to meeting their donor child. The summary is made by an AI service from OpenAi. The content is quality assured by news’s journalists before publication. The year is 1978. Niels de Ruijter and Marian van der Meijde had been lovers for half a year. Marian tipped her boyfriend off about a women’s clinic in the Netherlands that was looking for sperm donors. That winter, the 22-year-old delivered twelve doses to the clinic. It was his offer to families who wanted children. – Why shouldn’t we help? It was to be fair, says Marian. Back then, donors were anonymous, and de Ruijter didn’t think much more about his delivery. Niels was a sperm donor when he was 22 years old. Photo: Ken Markus Christensen / news Niels was a sperm donor when he was 22 years old. Photo: Ken Markus Christensen / news Match after 41 years After a few years, de Ruijter learned that the doses he delivered contributed to eight children. The years passed. In 1982, he and his wife moved to Norway. The couple married in Fredrikstad and had two children of their own. In recent years, the married couple have lived in the countryside in Siljan municipality in Telemark. – As soon as the children could understand it, we told them that relatives could come. We have always been open about it, says de Ruijter. In 2004, the law changed in the Netherlands. It was no longer allowed to be anonymous as a sperm donor. A couple of years later, de Ruijter submitted his DNA. He thinks it is important that donor children get to know who the biological father is, if they themselves want it. Nothing happened. Only in 2019 was he contacted by a foundation with the message that they had found a match. – There was a lady in the Netherlands who wanted to get in touch with me. Felt that something was wrong Cathalijne Gofferjé-Streppel was 18 years old when her mother told her that she was a donor child. Ever since she was eleven, she had felt that something was wrong. She had even asked her parents if she had been confused at the hospital. – They told me the whole story, and they never told it again. The parents had been told to keep the secret. That would hurt the child, the clinics thought. For Gofferjé-Streppel, many pieces fell into place when her parents finally gave her the whole story. This despite the fact that she did not know who the biological father was. At first she didn’t want to know either. When Cathalijne was 11 years old, she felt that something was wrong. Photo: Ken Markus Christensen / news When Cathalijne was 11 years old, she felt that something was wrong. Photo: Ken Markus Christensen / news Thinking of Clooney – I formed an impression of who this man was, she says and laughs a little. – You had to think of something, so it ended up with George Clooney. Only when Gofferjé-Streppel had a child twenty years ago did she want to know more about where she came from. – I only knew half the page. At the same time there was a big scandal in the Netherlands. A gynecologist had made over a hundred babies. Gofferjé-Streppel was afraid she was one of them. But at that time DNA testing was expensive and she could not afford to carry out the test. The first meeting In 2019, the law was changed for donor children and Gofferjé-Streppel received the DNA test for free. That autumn she found her biological father, Niels de Ruijter. – I was overjoyed. In the same week, I was supposed to take the driving test for a large bus, but I didn’t pass. It was too much in the head. The first time she met de Ruijter, she couldn’t get a word out. She just looked at the man and his face. – I felt like I was looking in a mirror. I had never felt like that before. They had chemistry from the start. A father-daughter relationship, says de Ruijter. Cathalijne brings her husband and children on a visit to Norway for Niels and his wife Marian. Photo: Ken Markus Christensen / news Cathalijne brings her husband and children on a visit to Norway for Niels and his wife Marian. Photo: Ken Markus Christensen / news – Biter om dage yourself falls into place Raymond Egge is the leader of the Association for donor conceptions in Norway. He is a donor child himself and has personal experience of finding his donor. – There is something exciting about meeting someone from whom you come. There are often many pieces about yourself that fall into place. Raymond Egge, head of the Association for donor-conceived people in Norway. Photo: Tom Balgaard / news Raymond Egge, head of the Association for donor-conceived people in Norway. Photo: Tom Balgaard / news The association does not want to put any pressure on donors to register their DNA, but Egge does not think donors have anything to fear. From December 2023, donor children over the age of 18 could find information about their donor in Norway’s new national egg and donor register. Children conceived with the help of a donor after 1 January 2005 can receive information about the donor’s identity. From January 2021, the age limit was changed from 18 to 15 years, but this only applies to children conceived from and including 2021. Egge thinks it is good that the donor register is open. The association is working to acquire more knowledge about how the register works and to develop it further. Thinks there is a mistake with the age limit Niels de Ruijter does not think there should be any age limit for obtaining information about the donor’s identity. – It is a shame that children do not get to know who their father is. Naturally, it must be the case that the child must want it himself. After 41 years, Niels and his daughter Cathalijne met. Today they have a good relationship and talk several times a month. Photo: Ken Markus Christensen / NRKE Niels and his daughter Cathalijne met after 41 years. Today they have a good relationship and talk several times a month. Photo: Ken Markus Christensen / news The donor father believes that children need to know who their origin is, and says that he has experienced how the donor daughter has changed by learning who the father is. – I encourage all donor fathers to register their DNA, and see if there are donor children and be open to meeting them. Hello! Thank you for reading. Are you left with any thoughts after reading this case, or do you have suggestions for something else I should write about? Published 03.08.2024, at 13.43
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Niels donated sperm when he was 22 – met his daughter five years ago – news Vestfold and Telemark – Local news, TV and radio
