When Charles “Chuck” Stilson was born on a farm in Diamond, Washington, on a January day in 1930, no one thought about how he would die. Not until 93 years had passed. All his life he was an energetic man who looked forward to getting up in the morning. In his old days, life was all about walking around the neighborhood and talking to all the people he met along the way. Chuck Stilson loved life, but in the last few years it became difficult for him to live. In the summer of 2023, he had had enough. But his heart wasn’t having it. The strong muscle in the ribcage just kept beating. Against his will. Right up until he turned 93, Chuck Stilson lived in his own home in Portland, Oregon. Photo: Michael Stilson A grandpa in life Michael Stilson, Chuck’s grandson, was born in 1987 in Trondheim. It takes 15 hours to travel from the city in the middle of Norway to Portland on the US west coast. Nevertheless, the two got in good contact. Grandpa Chuck and his grandson on the other side of the Atlantic. Every other summer they got several weeks together when Michael, his sisters and parents came to visit. The summer of 2023 was different. The Stilson family prepared for what will be Chuck’s last days on earth. Michael traveled over with the children, aged 4 and 7, to see grandfather and great-grandfather one last time. Lively children became a blessing in the face of Chuck Stilson’s wish to die. Little Michael and grandfather Chuck developed a close relationship, despite living on separate continents. Photo: Jim Stilson Do you think euthanasia should be legal in Norway? Yes! We must decide for ourselves how we will die. Yes, but I am afraid that the sick and elderly will feel obliged to die. Do not know! No, it should not be the healthcare system’s role to take lives. No, people should not die until they die of themselves. Show result A Danish decision In the state of Oregon, where Chuck Stilson lived in his adult life, euthanasia is permitted. That is not the case in Norway. But something has started to stir in one of our closest neighboring countries. Just before the summer, the Danish Parliament was handed a citizens’ proposal with 50,000 signatures. The proposal was that euthanasia should become legal in Denmark. But before the politicians in the Folketing vote for or against, they must consider a recommendation from 17 specially selected Danes in the Ethical Council The advice to the Folketing was made public on 5 October. The Danes were advised against making a law allowing euthanasia. The reasoning was long. But in short, the council believes that such a law will not work properly. They have society’s most vulnerable people in mind. The council believes that the view on old age, quality of life and diversity will change. But they are not the ones who decide. That is what the Folketing does. They will consider the bill on euthanasia on Friday 10 November. Grandfather will die This summer, Michael and the family gathered at his grandfather’s house in the USA. What came now was easy to understand, but difficult to hear. Grandpa didn’t want to live anymore. He said it straight. He asked to be let go. He wanted help to die. This was Chuck Stilson’s last wish. Quite apart from the fact that he wanted soft ice cream then. Michael and the children bought cooling sweets for the whole family. At the same time, the seriousness of the situation is slowly sinking in on the Norwegian father of two. As Chuck’s tired body became heavy to hold up, so did his will to live. Photo: Jim Stilson / Jim Stilson Norwegian conditions 3 out of 4 Norwegians are positive about euthanasia. At least we answered that in 2019, which was the last time anyone checked what we think about the topic. However, the survey has some weaknesses, because not everyone is aware of what euthanasia can lead to. This is what Gitte Koksvik, who is researching the relationship between euthanasia and palliation, tells us. – A liberal society recognizes the right over one’s own body and life, she states. It is about giving the dying person a sense of control. – Not having to suffer and being allowed to die with dignity are the two main arguments for legalizing euthanasia, says Koksvik. But the counterarguments are many. – Identity and dignity are two important factors in the discussion about euthanasia, says Gitte Koksvik, who is an associate professor at the Department of Social Anthropology at NTNU Photo: Morten Waagø / Morten Waagø A law that can be changed – Although the right to decide on one’s own life is strongly our society, then it does not have to mean that you have to accept euthanasia, the researcher clarifies. People may feel a duty to die to avoid being a nuisance. – Old people and people who are not productive can start to feel like a burden on society, she continues. The inclined plane effect is another danger, says the researcher. Once a law is made, the path to changing it can be short. For example, mental disorders can be defined as just as painful to live with as physical ailments. In Norway, the Medical Association was negative about legalization the last time they dealt with the issue. So far, only the FRP and MDG want to revive the debate on euthanasia. As euthanasia is legalized in more countries, it is conceivable that we will have to take up the debate in this country as well. – Then it is important that we have a good and nuanced discussion, emphasizes Gitte Koksvik. Jonas Gahr Støre and Erna Solberg discussed euthanasia live, when Fredrik Solvang and Sigrid Sollund invited to a public meeting in Tromsø. Need someone to talk to? You can call the Helpline 116 123 It is Mental health that offers a free and 24-hour telephone service for anyone who needs someone to talk to. You can be anonymous. Those you talk to are bound by confidentiality. The phone is open every day, all year round, even on public holidays. Death – a part of life Within a few days, two doctors gave their permission for Chuck Stilson to end his own life, if he still wanted to. He did. A pharmacist brought the medicine. Michel sat in bed with his grandfather, watching him eat his very last ice cream. The sweet ice cream numbed his mouth, the taste softening the bitterness of the poisonous cocktail that would ensure his heart stopped beating. – I guess that’s it, said Chuck Stilson. Then he died. Everything went peacefully. Life just ebbed away. Afterwards, grandson Michael has thought a lot about his grandfather’s choice; – It was a complicated exercise in empathy to let grandfather die the way he wanted, he thinks. Old Chuck Stilson still had love to give when he chose death. But the network of old friends was gone. And the body had begun to fail. The once so restless man could no longer bear to mobilize for new days. More care was not enough for him. – I am not a standard-bearer for euthanasia, but I think it is good for us to talk more about how we want to die. And above all not wanting to die, says Michael Stilson. Chuck Stilson’s great-grandchildren, ages 4 and 7, were not present when he died, but one thing they understood. That death is part of life. Your dad thinks it’s important. – I think that grandfather was allowed to die in his own bed with his family around him was a great way to go, says Michael Stilson Photo: Erlend Laanke Solbu In Kompass you can hear how the Danes discuss euthanasia and Michael Stilson’s story about his grandfather’s death.
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Michael Stilson helped his grandfather die
