– Over the course of my life, I have learned that the most difficult conversations we can have can be the ones that have the greatest transforming power. So although this is not easy for me, I have something else to share with you. This is how Diggins begins the text of a post published on Instagram on Sunday evening. – This summer, after I have been in a good place in terms of health for twelve years, I have struggled with my eating disorder, she writes further. In an interview with People, she says that it was tough when she realized she had relapsed. – I struggle with the fact that I feel pressure to be perfect. Most of it is pressure I put on myself. Several different stress factors built up, she says. SILVER: Only Therese Johaug beat Diggins in the women’s 30 kilometer race during the Beijing Olympics in 2022. Photo: Fredrik Varfjell / NTB She describes it by comparing it to constantly putting new stones in your rucksack before you go out for a walk. – If you keep adding stones, suddenly there will be a lot to go around at once. And it just got really heavy. And it was difficult for me, says Diggins. Diggins says she realized she was using the eating disorder to avoid “feeling things”. – When you use it to shut out the feelings of pain, regret, stress or sadness, you lose the feeling of happiness and joy, love and all the good things, she says. Her grandfather’s death was a turning point The American ski star has on several occasions previously been open about her struggle with bulimia at the start of her career, including in a lengthy interview with news. – To be “perfect”, I didn’t want to have any body fat, which I now know is neither healthy nor realistic, and especially not healthy for young girls who are growing and going through puberty. But I thought that was the way I had to be, so I started to be hard on myself, Diggins told news in 2020. She then told about how it all started after a pancake breakfast at home with her parents. On her way to work, she pulled into a gas station and forced herself to vomit. – I didn’t feel stressed, the anxiety disappeared and the voice in my head stopped yelling at me that I was a failure, she said about the situation, and continued: – As soon as I threw up, I understood why people are addicted to drugs, because it makes you completely numb. I no longer needed to feel anything. In the biography “Brave Enough” (“Brave enough”), which was published the same year, she wrote: “In the end it was my grandfather’s death that saved my life”. Diggins’ grandfather died of lung cancer. – I understood that there are situations where you cannot avoid dying. Cancer happens, car accidents happen, things happen. But seeing what it did to my family made me realize that I’m going to die. It’s not if, it’s when, if I continue down this path. And I understood that I had a chance to save myself, said Diggins to news. Jessie Diggins Born: August 26, 1991 From: Saint Paul, Minnesota, USA Has 14 career World Cup wins, including Tour de Ski overall win in 2021. Won the World Cup overall in the 2020/21 season. Has two WC golds (team sprint in 2013 and 10 kilometers in 2023) and a further four WC medals. Has one Olympic gold (team sprint in 2018) and two further medals. – Feeling guilty, but not ashamed, the 32-year-old says that she now feels much better. She trains and is scheduled to be with the American national team’s training camp this autumn. Diggins thanks the support she has received from everyone around her and says it is the big difference from her teenage years. – When I was 18 and sick, I didn’t know much about eating disorders or mental health. I felt a lot of shame, I was afraid to ask for help and I didn’t know how to be the person I was from what my eating disorder made me feel, she writes on Instagram. AMERICAN STAR: Diggins has been the big lone figure on the American national team in recent years. Photo: Alessandra Tarantino / AP – This time, I knew right away that I didn’t have to feel alone in this, and that I didn’t need to. I was honest and open, she writes, and says that she was met with unconditional support. She is clear that she wants to show that you don’t have to be perfect to be successful. – It is okay to ask for help, she writes. – This time I don’t feel ashamed. I feel guilt, confusion and pain, but not shame. Because this time I know this is just how my brain works and something I need help working through.
ttn-69
– Losing the feeling of happiness and joy – news Sport – Sports news, results and broadcasting schedule
