Jorun Stiansen and Wanda Mashadi met each other at Kragerø Resort in 2019. They were to be participants in a new season of the reality program “Camp Culinaris” on Viaplay. Both were excited about what awaited them, and in the fireplace at the hotel they got talking. The conversation went on and they found out quite quickly that they had good chemistry. – Jorun was so extremely social and very open, while I was more like the black sheep. It was the first time I had done something like that with well-known profiles, so I felt quite out of place, says Mashadi. During their stay at “Camp Kulinaris”, Stiansen and Mashadi became close friends – and since then they have spent a lot of time together. The friends became known when both were participants in “Camp Culinaris”. Photo: Privat The friendship was not something Stiansen had envisioned. – I have thought that I will never make new friends in adulthood. I’m actually an introvert and need time alone to get the energy to be an extrovert. But it is actually in the last few years that I have made the best friends. – Became damn picky For Stiansen, it was crucial that Mashadi had a naturalness about him. – It felt so real, and it was very good for me. I hate meeting new people – especially girls. My roommate was shocked when I told him that I had found a really good girlfriend during the reality show. Stiansen and Mashadi love going on trips together. Photo: Private Have you made many other friends in adulthood then? – I have actually made more acquaintances. Of close friendships, it’s really only Jorun and the girl gang from participating in “Kompani Lauritzen” that I’ve had in adulthood, says Mashadi. Stiansen believes that over the years she has become more selective, and very conscious of who she spends her energy on. – I have become damn picky. I have one core, like a mixture of friends from Vennesla and some from adulthood. I feel confident in them. I would like to get to know others, but it will be on the easy level, she says. Friendship is vital Good and close friendships are something we all need. New research taken from an article on Forskning.no tells us that friendship is an important support device in conflicts, it keeps us up during difficult periods and counteracts loneliness. And over the years, making new friends becomes more demanding. Psychologist Tommy Monsen Sotkajærvi believes that friendship is shaped by two key ingredients. He believes that in adulthood one can expect friendships to develop on their own to a lesser extent. Psychological specialist Tommy Monsen Sotkajærvi. – For friendship to form, we need an exchange of vulnerability and common, preferably unorganized and unplanned, activities. In childhood, we find ourselves in arenas where it is easier to interact with others. Sotkajærvi also believes that as a child you are less affected by life’s hard schooling. – Adult life is to a greater extent characterized by compulsory activities. And as adults, we are also more self-aware and reserved with whom we trust, he believes. Did you know? It takes 300 hours to make a close friend. Casual friendships occur after about 30 hours, while it takes about 50 hours to form a friendship with someone. A good friendship begins to occur after 140 hours. The closest and best friendship does not occur until after 300 hours. Whether you spend 30 or 600 hours with someone, the percentage of all relationships formed in public arenas, such as work or school, remains relatively constant. Source: Research report taken from SAGE Journals. Why is it so important for us to have friends in adulthood? – The most important thing is that friends are a vaccine against loneliness. Loneliness has today become one of the scourges of modern man. Loneliness kills, and with an increased mortality that is comparable to smoking a twenty-pack a day, says the psychological specialist. Superficial celebrity parties The friends are in the same industry, and have in common that they are known to the public. Life in the limelight offers many social events where it is easy to get in touch with new people. But are we to believe that the girlfriends are not celebrity parties the arena for finding new friends. – It doesn’t work, I think. In that case, the chance of finding a good girlfriend is greater in spring or summer. At such events it becomes so superficial. I get all sweaty when we talk about it, laughs Stiansen. Mashadi agrees. – You do it because you should, and because it is part of our job. You have a nice tone with people, but I’ve never been to a party like that and picked up a best friend there. At celebrity events, mingling is what matters, and not the best place for new friends, we are to believe Mashadi. Here with her twin sister, Vita. Photo: Privat For the good friends, it is important to have close friends around them, and they know several people who find it difficult to form new friendships in adulthood. – I know people who say that they have lost their old group of friends, or that they have grown apart. Some people may become weirder with age, but when you’re an adult you know what you don’t want in your life, says Stiansen. Allow vulnerability Sotkajærvi will clarify that you are not weird or wrong even if you have no friends, and offers some tips on what you can do to make friends: – Act as if people like you – and they probably do. Be consistent and steadfast in your intention to create friendship. Concretely, it may mean that you have to be “on” in coming up with joint activities. He believes it is important to allow yourself to be vulnerable. Stiansen and Mashadi have several things in common, and even though they live some distance from each other, they are good at going on trips and making time for each other. Both love to stand on the ground in the winter. Mashadi’s apparently identical half, Vita, also joins in on the fun. Photo: Private – We just come up with things together, we also try to be a bit creative so that you don’t do the same thing. Since we don’t live in the same place, we try to be good at commenting on Instagram stories and sending messages. It’s like a relationship, but you just have to nurture it, says Mashadi. Watch Stiansen and Mashadi in “The World’s Best Friends” on Saturday at 19:50 on NRK1, and whenever you want on news TV.
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Jorun and Wanda became friends in adulthood – a psychologist believes it is vitally important – news Culture and entertainment
