– I see that it has become a little dirty. It’s a good thing I’m done using it! Guro Næsheim Reknes has taken the wedding dress off the hanger to show it to the photographer. Self-stitched, with a long train and shiny, white fabric. It has got some brown spots from sand and soil at the bottom, which now remind of one of the most important days of life. Photo: Kristin Granbo / news – It was the best day of my life, it was. Husband Andreas Næsheim Reknes smiles widely, and his wife nods affirmatively. Wedding without “man and woman” or “fertility” The two theology students were married in Nedre Eiker church in Viken on Saturday 6 May, with friends and family as witnesses. That they should marry in the church was never a question, but they still had to make some choices after the date was set. Photo: Marianne Sleire Before the church wedding, it is common for the couple to meet the priest, and together they set up the ceremony. Some are optional, such as musical elements, while other things are fixed, such as the marriage ceremony. Heterosexual couples can also choose between two wedding liturgies, texts that are read out to the couple and the congregation in the church. – I think we came to the liturgies with curiosity and an openness to find what we thought was the finest and best. But even with long traditions and ties to the church, the couple chose a new wedding liturgy from 2017. It says nothing about marriage being for a man and a woman, or that one should be fruitful and subdue the earth, which has been the church’s word for a long time into marriage. Photo: Marianne Sleire Prost: – Uses the new one in all weddings After many years of debate and a prolonged tug-of-war, a new liturgy came in 2017, i.e. texts that are read during the wedding – which were gender neutral. The new liturgy was introduced so that same-sex couples could also come to church and get married. Now, six years later, it turns out that this liturgy is not only used by queers, but has been adopted by all couples. Several priests tell news that they have completely stopped using the old liturgy. Choice of wedding liturgy in the Church of Norway Central Church Council does not keep statistics on the choice of liturgy at weddings. They write to news that “the general impression is that many people use the 2017 liturgy” news has sent questions to all dioceses in the country. Not everyone has an answer, but the feedback shows regional differences. There are also different practices for the choice, whether it is done by the priests or the couple. Communications and youth adviser Henrik Guii-Larsen in the Tunsberg diocese says that the vast majority use the liturgy from 2017. – It is very rare that couples want the 2003 version. In the dioceses of Agder and Telemark, there are different practices. Some consistently use the old, while others have switched to using the new mostly. In the Borg diocese, the majority of priests use the new liturgy from 2017. Provost Tor Bjørn Andresen Osberg writes to news that “pretty much all the priests in the parish use the wedding ritual from 2017, unless the couples clearly express that they want the ritual from 2003. has happened to some of the priests only once or twice since 2017”. Most of the deans in Sør-Hålogaland diocese report that it is the new liturgy from 2017 that is the preferred one. Only a few ask to use the old one. In Bjørgvin, one of the provosts reports that the liturgy from 2003 is chosen the most. But here there are few answers. In the Stavanger diocese, communications advisor Tove Marie Sortland writes that the old liturgy is used most, but that the new one is also chosen. (Received spring 2023) – I was initially positive about the new liturgy, but then I ended up using it in all weddings. This is what Kjerstin Jensen, who is the provost in Søndre Follo parish, tells us. She doesn’t even present it as a choice. Partly because she thinks the couple has enough to deal with, and partly because she believes the new one embraces more broadly the various couples she marries. Photo: Kristin Granbo / news Joy and forgiveness The main difference between the two is the selection of Bible texts that are read aloud. The words chosen mean that one can only be used by opposite-sex couples, while the new one can be used by everyone. – The old one focuses on the account of creation, which is about the creation of man and woman and the filling of the earth and placing it under us. Jensen points out that it is not suitable for all couples, not even if you are a man and a woman, for example if you are well into adulthood and do not enter into marriage to have children. – Then the new one has a different focus on joy, God’s care, forgiveness, it is a slightly more general theme. – Left his father and mother many years earlier – It’s a bit scary to get married, so we thought it was nice to point out that you should be good to each other and patient, says Guro Næsheim Reknes. Photo: Kristin Granbo / news The husband, Andreas, also believes that the reason why many people choose the new one is that they are no longer as concerned with the tradition surrounding the wedding, but with the relationship they enter into. he. – And then it is mentioned in the old one that one must leave one’s father and mother, adds Guro. – It is also not as common now as in the 19th century. Many have left their father and mother many years before. Provost: – Tradition means a lot in the village But traditions still prevail in several places in the country. Provost in Øvre Telemark, Asgeir Sele, believes that it is precisely traditions that make most people in his area still choose the old liturgy. – Especially in a rural environment like here, tradition will mean quite a lot during a wedding. news meets him in the old Bø old church in Midt-Telemark. The church was built in stone in the year 1179. Here, there is history along every row of benches and in every wooden carving. Photo: Sindre Thoresen Lønnes / news – This is an area with heavy traditions. We have six medieval stone churches, we have two stave churches. Those who come here often return home to be married, they are concerned with traditions, perhaps a little more than average. He believes that they often think that the liturgy that they have heard about, where this about man and woman is central, will be a nice setting for their marriage. “Old” or “traditional”? However, Sele noticed at the start that it was a lot about how the election was presented. Photo: Sindre Thoresen Lønnes / news – If I asked: “Do you want the old or the new liturgy?”, most couples answer the new one. But if I ask the question a little differently: “Do you want the traditional liturgy or the new, gender-neutral liturgy?”, quite a few here will choose the traditional. When the new liturgy was adopted, Sele had expected a text that was more clearly adapted for same-sex couples. – I was probably a bit skeptical that they just made the old liturgy gender neutral, but I see today that this works well and that people are happy with it, both those who have a same-sex wedding and heterosexual couples. In that sense, this has worked out in a good way as far as I can tell. – Want to keep the faith pure and undefiled Priest and researcher Merete Thomassen at the Faculty of Theology (UiO), helped shape the text of the new liturgy. She has noticed that many heterosexual couples have also adopted it. – A number of priest colleagues say that heterosexual brides and grooms ask for the liturgy that does not discriminate. Photo: Kristin Granbo / news She says she is not surprised by this. – It has a greater range of biblical texts, and it focuses less on fertility and has formulations that are a little more open. Although she thinks the new one is better, she says the old version won’t go away anytime soon. – No, it is a matter of battle. For some priests, there is a lot at stake if one cuts out the old one. In part, it is about keeping the faith pure and undefiled. So it will probably not be phased out without further ado. However, she believes that there will be a revision of both liturgies in the long term. – The hope and goal is that we get one joint wedding liturgy that can be used by everyone. – The church must be in motion The newly married theology students believe that the church must be good at thinking in new ways, also in the future. – I think it is very important that the church continues and is always in motion, because the rest of society is, says Andreas Næsheim Reknes. – The Norwegian church is and will continue to be a folk church, and then they have to meet different people where they are. And at the same time it is nice that the church can promote some ideals. Photo: Kristin Granbo / news
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It was created to include queers, but now priests use the new wedding liturgy for everyone – Culture
