Julia Vik Remøy (20) is one of thousands of students who go home to mum and dad during the holidays. The Ålesund girl happily admits that her girls’ room looks bomb and that she dumps clothes in the laundry basket, which her mother has to wash. – It happens that mum gets mad when she comes home from work and I get a bit of a scolding, laughs Remøy, who is at the gym and sweats out his t-shirt and shorts. She is usually a student in Trondheim, and she herself believes that the time in a group with four other girls has made her better at contributing at home. – I always wash up after myself when I cook in the kitchen. I never let it stand, says Remøy. Do you have any tips for avoiding arguments when everyone is together for the holidays? Share with us at the bottom of the story 👇 Julie Vik Remøy works out during the holidays and admits that her mother is often the one who washes the clothes. Photo: Øyvind Sandnes / news Should relax the collar Her advice to young adults is to take the good habits from the collective home with them. She also believes that parents should stress a little less in the summer and accept that their children have had a hectic time during exam time and need to relax. – One must be able to accept a little dress. One should be able to loosen the collar a little, says Remøy. Do you help with housework when you get home? Yes of course! No, I’m a guest right? I help at my own pace… Show result Helps when asked Student Ola Solli-Sæther says that he is happy to help at home, if he is asked about it. He himself gets annoyed by the mess in the student dormitory, so he believes that young adults should help at home to the extent that conflict is avoided. – Now I know that they will only be happy that I’m coming home, so now I get a little extra when I come, says the Norwegian. Ola Solli-Sæther thinks he rarely gets scoldings from his parents because of mess. Photo: Øyvind Sandnes / news Going into old patterns Elin Gulbrandsen is one of the mothers who is looking forward to having her student at home this summer. – It will be most pleasant and then we have to find out how we solve practical tasks at home, both in relation to food and the car, says Gulbrandsen. She thinks the challenge may be that adult children enter the same pattern as before they moved out, where it was their parents who cooked the food and washed the clothes. Nevertheless, she does not see it as a problem. – It is for a shorter period and these are our children who have been through a demanding exam period. They live in a collective with four or five others, so we have to be a bit generous and flexible, says Gulbrandsen. Elin Gulbrandsen is looking forward to a summer where her young stepdaughters are at home on holiday. Photo: Øyvind Sandnes / news Advice for parents if it’s been a hot day But what if the parents’ cup has been cleaned of dirty laundry, dishes or the half-full suitcase that is still open in the middle of the kitchen floor after more than a week? – Conflicts arise, and the vast majority of us feel that things are hot every now and then, assures psychology specialist and family therapist Steinar Sunde. – Our brains are designed to register danger, and if the young people are messing around at home, we can almost react as if we are in mortal danger. – We can doubt the work we have done as parents, because they behave like this everywhere and because they will not manage on their own. Then we can quickly shoot from the hip and say things we don’t mean, says Sunde. And once the argument has taken place, he asks us to think that we are more equal than we think. – Don’t wait until you’re already upset – I also think that many people think of their children as completely different beings than themselves, who you can talk to in a completely different way than we talk to others, says the psychologist. He believes that many people raise problems with family members in a way that they might not want to raise them with, for example, a colleague or partner. – Ask yourself: How would I like to receive a message, and what motivates me to make changes? Don’t wait to be honest until you’re already angry and irritated. Hello! Welcome to dialogue at news. Since you are logged in to other news services, you do not have to log in again here, but we need your consent to our terms of use for online dialogue Published 24.06.2024, at 11.09
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How to avoid arguments when grown children come home to their parents for the summer holidays – news Møre og Romsdal – Local news, TV and radio
