– How are things going at the cabin, then? – Yes, I think it’s going well. We think there is something really bad about this weather… Small talk flows between Benjamin and Daniel Hansen (24) and Thrond-Arne Schau. They are not related. But to the twins, he will always be dad. One of two. – When we were smaller, it was often that new people we met were surprised. But it was usually a positive surprise. That they thought it sounded like fun and all sorts of things, says Daniel. – Actually, it has been such an A4 upbringing, you could call it, says Benjamin. Benjamin (from left) and Daniel have mostly received positive reactions when they say they have two dads. Photo: Hallgeir Braastad / Hallgeir Braastad Met opposition Thrond-Arne – or Thrond, as he is usually called – believes he and his partner were among the first gay foster parents in Norway. They took over the care of the twins in 2001. When Kjell Magne Bondevik (KrF) was prime minister and Laila Dåvøy from the same party was minister for children and families. When she got into the regulations that foster parents should have different sexes, Benjamin and Daniel had all lived with their fathers for almost two years. And it didn’t happen without resistance and reactions, says Thrond. – It’s not about us not being our own as foster parents. It was about the fact that we were of the same sex, he says. Thrond-Arne Schau calls the fight to keep the foster children one of the biggest he has faced in his life. Photo: Hallgeir Braastad / news Because both in the boys’ family and in society there were forces that thought they could not live with the couple permanently. – Asker municipality did something very controversial when our children were placed with us. That commands a lot of respect, he says. For the sons, it is absurd to think: that the fathers’ attitude was used against them. – I have never understood that people should care so much when it comes to such things. People are people, says Benjamin. Foster father against all odds Today, few people react to the fact that homosexuals are foster parents, according to Thrond. Now it is more common for them to get reactions to age. Because when they were in their 50s they became foster fathers again. To a boy who is now 8 years old. Out of respect for him, news meets Thrond in the salon where he works, instead of at home. Thrond-Arne works as a stylist and hairdresser. But only part-time, he emphasizes. Because the most important job is being a foster father. Photo: Hallgeir Braastad / news He has always known that he wanted children. But both among other homosexuals and in society have encountered attitudes that it was impossible. Or unlikely. When he was growing up, there were no openly gay couples raising children. Some still think that way, Thrond-Arne believes. Therefore, they may never have considered becoming foster parents. – There are very many resourceful same-sex couples who can certainly become one. But who may not quite know that they can do it, or how, he says. Want more people like Thrond Foster home supervisor Heidi-Helen Jenssen is convinced. – We still meet many queers who say “oh, can we become foster parents? I didn’t think so,” she says. Some queer people are still surprised that they can become foster parents, according to Heidi-Helen Jenssen Photo: Rolf Petter Olaisen / news Jenssen works to guide and recruit foster homes in Oslo. During pride, the municipality stood by to enlist more “queer” foster parents. The main reason is obvious: in Oslo alone, approx. 100 children in a foster home. Then you cannot miss out on good candidates. Anyone who meets the requirements can become a foster home. – And those requirements are not to be heterosexual, says Jenssen. Or in a relationship, for that matter. Single people can also become foster homes. Requirements for foster parents You must have: Approved extended child care certificate (police certificate) Interest and surplus to give children a safe and good home Stable living situation Generally good health Satisfactory knowledge of Norwegian Good cooperation skills Finances, housing and social network that give children room for life development Everyone who is going to be foster parents must complete basic training under the auspices of Bufetat. Different children need different foster homes. That is why the Norwegian Directorate for Children, Youth and Families (Bufdir) and Bufetat are looking for a variety of foster families. Both married, divorced, cohabiting, single or same-sex couples can become foster parents. There are no absolute age requirements, but it is desirable that you are between 25 and 67 years old. Source: Bufdir Municipality tries to recruit in many different environments, not just the queer environment. – We use football arenas that we have. Sports team. Religious groupings. We need diversity. That is what is consistent, she says. More queer children But a lack of foster homes is not the only reason, according to Jensen. In Oslo, the foster home service has become a “rainbow lighthouse”. They have taken courses through Fri, among other things, to learn about gender diversity and inclusive language use. It’s not just about reaching out to queer parents. But also queer children. Because the figures show that LGBT+ children are overrepresented in child protection. Then it is important that the service knows how to look after them and meet them in a good way, Jenssen believes. – It can also be useful and important and right to have queer foster parents for some of them, she adds. And: Regardless of their orientation or gender identity, many children in foster homes feel different, according to the Norwegian Foster Home Association. Tone Granaas of the Foster Home Association praises Oslo for actively recruiting queer foster parents. Photo: news – Coming to someone who knows what it’s like to be a little on the side of the majority in society, I think that also gives extra care and understanding to those children, she says. A safe haven Back in the salon in Asker, Thrond is cleaning up after the day’s work. Or, rather: the part-time job. – Because I am a foster father. It is the most important job, he says. And the best. Even if it lasts around the clock, and does not provide sick pay, pension points or holiday pay. Thrond-Arne believes that attitudes towards gay parents have changed. He hopes more people will be inspired to become foster parents. Photo: Hallgeir BraastadThrond-Arne believes attitudes towards gay parents have changed. He hopes more people will be inspired to become foster parents. Photo: Hallgeir Braastad – It’s more than a full-time job. But it is a wonderfully educational job, he says. Many people out there could be a resource for a child or young person who needs it, he believes. Thrond now hopes that more people will sign up. For over 200 children who need it are left without a foster home. Foster sons Benjamin and Daniel have no doubts: – Growing up in a foster home has been very pleasant and of course very positive for us, says Daniel. Brother Benjamin agrees. – I see us as quite lucky, he says. The twins believe they have been lucky to have grown up with their foster fathers. Photo: Hallgeir Braastad / news He points out that many children grow up in troubled and chaotic conditions. While the twins were given a safe haven with their fathers Thor-Arne and Kjell Ove. – The best thing is to grow up in something that is stable, regardless of gender. Hello! Do you have any thoughts about the case you have read? Or tips about, for example, integration, the health system, prisons, facilitation in schools or mental health? Maybe about something completely different from Greater Oslo that should be taken care of? Feel free to get in touch! Published 20.07.2024, at 15.54
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hope more people do like Thrond-Arne Schau – Stor-Oslo
