Pay attention the next time you go to eat at a restaurant or cafeteria with family or friends. When the waiter comes to remove the plates to serve the next course or because the meal has finished, someone at the table, spontaneously and instinctively, will bring the plates closer or group them even before the waiter arrives to make his task easier.
It is an almost imperceptible gesture for most, but according to psychologist Francisco Tabernero, this common and spontaneous gesture reveals much deeper insights. “That simple gesture of helping the waiter means several things,” says Tabernero.
It’s Not Just Good Education
Beyond being a gesture of good manners, the act of selflessly assisting the waiter reflects distinct personality traits. Tabernero highlights that providing selfless help to the waiter denotes a keen sense of empathy, expressed through altruistic behavior.
This behavior exemplifies what psychologists refer to as a prosocial attitude. It indicates voluntary actions benefiting others without seeking direct compensation or recognition. Individuals who assist in clearing the table are often demonstrating empathy, humility, and social responsibility, qualities that, while subtle, carry significant weight, even in professional contexts.
The Role of Upbringing
Research suggests that these behaviors often stem from parental modeling and learned habits. Children who grow up observing acts of kindness are more likely to display similar behaviors in adulthood. This behavior also correlates with an active understanding of others’ efforts and roles, fostering a supportive environment for everyone involved.
Deficit in Assertiveness and Social Judgment
However, Tabernero cautions that this behavior can sometimes indicate a lack of assertiveness, characterized by an excessive fear of negative evaluation by others. This tendency is known to manifest in individuals who may go overboard in their helpfulness, often in an attempt to please and gain social acceptance.
According to Tabernero, what may seem like an altruistic gesture could instead stem from a desire to be well-regarded by peers.

What Recruiters Are Looking For: Team Spirit
The proactive initiative to help the waiter reflects traits that are increasingly valued in modern workplaces. Such collaborative behaviors enhance productivity and signify a strong team spirit. These traits have been categorized as Soft Skills, which play a critical role in personnel recruitment today.
A meta-study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology highlights that employees exhibiting prosocial behaviors not only boost productivity but also contribute to a healthier team environment. The findings revealed that workplaces with higher levels of collaboration experience less internal tension and improved team cohesion, making such behavior highly desirable for employers.
Moreover, a study from Harvard Business School indicated that teams with employees who act on their initiative for the group’s benefit show a 16% increase in productivity and a 12% uptick in team cohesion.
However, it’s essential to recognize that the motivation behind collaborative actions like clearing the table may not always stem from conscious intention. According to Tabernero, some individuals may feel an innate discomfort that compels them to act quickly, making their assistance less about teamwork and more a response to a personal urge.
In conclusion, small gestures, like helping to clear a table, go beyond mere etiquette. They carry deeper implications regarding personality traits, social understanding, and professional readiness, enriching our interpersonal experiences both at work and in everyday life.
Image | Pixabay (JM TABEL) Unsplash (Kate Townsend)

