– We have always wanted children, but it was not something we stressed about, says Fredrik Gulbrandsen (32). We meet him and his girlfriend Malene Pedersen (28) in their apartment on St. Hanshaugen in Oslo. After having lived abroad for seven years, first in Salzburg and then Istanbul, the couple have returned to Fredrik’s old club, and Malene’s hometown, Molde. The apartment in the capital has worked well as a kind of commuter accommodation. Until now. – We are going to sell, so that is why there is little furniture here, says Malene. They need a larger home in Molde. The reason sits a couple of meters away from them. A GOOD TEAM: Malene and Fredrik have been together for ten years. They believe that the stays abroad have made the relationship even stronger. Photo: Håvard Greger Hagen / news Some indeterminate sounds come from a rocking chair. Four-month-old Leah sits strategically positioned. She has a full overview of what is happening in the room. The little pink socks she put on just before news knocked on the door are coming off. – She has been long awaited. So to speak, Malene begins. The first symptoms In the winter of 2020, Malene stopped using birth control pills. Whether she got pregnant in a week, or a year, was all the same. But weeks, then months, passed without my period returning. Instead, the hair began to fall out and the body began to change. At this time they lived in Istanbul, Turkey. Malene finally decided to see a gynecologist. There she was told that it looked like she had a lot of eggs in her ovaries. – I immediately thought that it was positive, because it must mean that I was very fertile, says Malene and adds: – But it was, as I realized afterwards, a typical sign of polycystic ovaries. The gynecologist explained to Malene that she had something called Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). She therefore most likely had to take medication to get her period again. And get help to get pregnant. HOME: Although it depends on Fredrik’s job situation, the couple are quite sure that they will stay in Norway in the future. Photo: Håvard Greger Hagen – One of the worst things a woman can experience. Confused, Malene and Fredrik went home from their doctor’s appointment without really understanding what PCOS meant. Neither of them had heard of the diagnosis, and instead decided to give it time. The men would probably come back. – In a way, I didn’t understand that it was a diagnosis, says Malene. Then, some time after the visit to the gynaecologist, she suddenly experienced extreme pain down the groin. The male’s ovary had so many cysts, and therefore became so heavy, that it eventually twisted. As a result, too little blood reached the organ. Malene and Fredrik rushed to a private hospital, where the doctors reacted lightning fast. They understood that something was very wrong. – The gynecologist at the hospital told me that what I went through was one of the worst things a woman can experience, says Malene. It ended with an operation to twist the ovary back. – I was very scared. It was corona times, and we were in a different country with a completely different healthcare system. The operation was successful, but afterwards the gynecologist gave Malene a clear message. – PCOS is a diagnosis. You must take this seriously. Wasn’t believed at the hospital Then, in November 2021, it happened again. – I sat on the plane home to Norway. Then suddenly I got exactly the same pains as I got last time when the ovary twisted. Afraid of what might come, Malene went to the emergency room. There she sat for three hours without receiving help or supervision from a doctor, and finally decided to go home. The pain continued to escalate. – Finally, Fredrik’s mother called for an ambulance. Then I was lying on the floor at home because I was unable to stand up straight or sit. The templates were sent to the emergency room at Akershus University Hospital. In the ambulance on the way, she howled because she was in so much pain. But when she arrived at the emergency room, no one would listen when she tried to tell how much pain she was in, she claims. – Neither the nurses nor the doctors were pleasant or helpful, and I did not feel that I was being seen. She claims the hospital staff told her the following: “Now you have to remember that there are a lot of girls your age who come in with stomach aches. Menstruation is painful”. – I said repeatedly that I had PCOS, and that I had been operated on for ovarian torsion before. But nothing was done, she claims. Malene arrived at the hospital in the afternoon. It wasn’t until midnight that two gynecologists saw her. They ascertained that everything was in order, and Malene was placed in isolation. – I was completely left to myself. I was not given food without having to ask for it. I was given very strong pain relief, such as morphine and Oxynorm intravenously, but nothing worked. In Istanbul, Fredrik sat unable to do anything to help his girlfriend. – It’s very disgusting not being able to be there. Knowing that they didn’t want to listen to Malene when she was in so much pain… You get disappointed with the system, says Fredrik. In the end, it was Fredrik’s mother who had to beg the hospital to have Malene have a CT scan. After the CT, three days after the pain first appeared, a new gynecologist saw her. – I remember she was completely shocked when she examined me. She said that there was something terribly wrong here. The gynecologist was able to determine that one ovary was twisted. But although Malene was operated on quickly afterwards, it could not be saved. Because it was already dead. And had most certainly been for a while. Sorry for the mistake Ahus has been confronted with the history of the couple. In an email to news, director of the women’s clinic, Pernille Schjønsby, writes the following: “The women’s clinic at Ahus uses feedback from patients in our quality work, and has processed this incident in the internal quality system in order to learn and prevent something similar from happening again. We aim to provide good and proper treatment to all our patients, and apologize that this error occurred. Beyond this, we do not want to comment on an individual patient in the media” – More people with PCOS need help to have children Photo: St. Olavs hospital Eszter Vanky is professor of gynecology and obstetrics at NTNU, senior physician at St. Olavs Hospital, and is one of Norway’s foremost experts on PCOS. She says it is not unusual to discover that you have PCOS only after you have stopped taking birth control, as Malene did. – When you use hormonal contraception such as birth control pills, birth control sticks or hormonal coils, you do not see natural menstrual cycles, and in most cases no ovulation either. One of the main signs of PCOS is infrequent, irregular periods. This symptom is camouflaged with hormonal contraception, says Vanky. – Other symptoms that are also reduced are increased hair growth and levels of male sex hormones. Infrequent ovulation gives less chance of pregnancy. That Malene and Fredrik struggled to have children the natural way, Vanky says is normal with PCOS. – Women usually have 12-13 ovulations/menstruations per year. When you have infrequent or no ovulation, as with PCOS, there is also less chance of pregnancy, she says and adds: Of women of childbearing age, there are approx. 10-15% who have the disease. Many people get pregnant spontaneously without help, but more women with PCOS need help compared to women without PCOS. – I became like a witch After losing an ovary, Malene and Fredrik’s chance of having children the natural way became even smaller. Two years after Malene was diagnosed with PCOS, they decided to start with test tube treatment, i.e. assisted fertilization. – We had the “luxury” of knowing that I had a diagnosis. Had I not known I had PCOS, we would probably have tried the natural way for much longer. But test tubes would prove to be another new, and tough, challenge for the couple. STILL NOT MARRIED: Malene and Fredrik became engaged in 2019. The wedding was first put on hold by corona, and then by the desire to have children. Photo: Håvard Greger Hagen / news – We didn’t quite know what we were getting into. It was very violent, with syringes and whatnot, says Malene. How IVF is carried out IVF treatment starts with hormone stimulation. This is to mature more eggs during a cycle, so that the chance of becoming pregnant is increased. The eggs are then retrieved and fertilized in a test tube, before one fertilized egg is placed back into the woman’s uterus. – It was like having overdosed on hormones. I wasn’t myself. I was high and low about each other. I became like a witch. The assisted fertilization also did not produce results. The pregnancy tests continued to show one line. – It was also very heavy. When you put so much effort into making it happen, and then it doesn’t work… It messed with the psyche a lot, says Malene. DAD: Fredrik is sure that combining his role as a parent and his job as a footballer will go well. – There are quite a few who have done it before me, he says. Photo: Håvard Greger Hagen / news – It was tough. Malen was not doing well. It almost damaged our relationship. And then we thought that, if this is what it takes to have a child, then it’s almost a question of whether it’s worth it, says Fredrik. – I remember we thought, many times, that perhaps we were simply not meant to have children. After the mental strain, the couple were very uncertain about the way forward. Then suddenly something happened that gave them a little hope. Some time after completing IVF, Malene became pregnant. Without help. Unfortunately, it ended in a miscarriage. But with this little unexpected event, they slowly but surely began to believe that there was light at the end of the tunnel. – Of course it was very sad, but in a way it was also a relief, because I got confirmation that I could get pregnant naturally. “Cheers for dad” Then it happens. In October 2023, Malene becomes pregnant with Leah. Two months later, the couple are in Oslo because Fredrik is going to play in the cup final. Although it is still early in the pregnancy, Malene books an ultrasound to check whether the sex of the baby can be seen. Finished with the ultrasound, she sent a video of the screen to Fredrik, with the text: “Cheers to dad” HELLO WORLD: A small hand gave a small wave at one of the first ultrasounds. Photo: Privat At the Ullevaal stadium later in the day, Molde wins the cup final against Bodø/Glimt. Fredrik scores the only goal of the match, and secures both the King’s Cup and the European Cup for the team in 2024. – It was a bit of a double celebration, he smiles. Photo: Terje Pedersen / NTB Photo: Terje Pedersen / NTB Photo: Terje Pedersen / NTB Don’t stress about having another child After almost four years of trial and error, Malene and Fredrik find it almost a little difficult to put into words how was when they finally became parents. – It is almost impossible to describe. But after she came, I’ve forgotten everything we went through with PCOS, hormone therapy and test tubes, says Malene. After Leah came into the world, the couple have lowered their shoulders. Least of all are they stressing about trying to get number two. – Now we have her. So we don’t feel any rush to get another one or anything. Now we’re just really happy. Then we’ll see what time brings, concludes Malene.
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Fredrik Gulbrandsen and his girlfriend tried to have a child for almost four years – Sport Langlesing
