The old room smelled of sweat, cigarette smoke and beer. It tingled in Erlend Elias’ stomach. A mixture of fear and excitement. At the time, Erlend Elias was 20 years old. He was in Oslo alone for the first time, visiting his good friend, Ann-Mari. A lush lady with a big smile, infectious laugh and “breasts that made any heterosexual boy out of control”, according to the stylist. Erlend Elias had barely landed in Oslo before he took his girlfriend to the London Pub. – I had been told that it was a place for gays, bisexuals, or just those who wanted to be themselves, says Erlend Elias today. He remembers the looks from the other pub guests, and the young man Joakim who came home with him. – Nothing sexual happened between us. But just sleeping next to another boy, and waking up with two eyes looking straight into mine and saying: “Erlend, you’re so beautiful”, he recalls. – I just wanted to freeze time. I didn’t want Ann Mari to wake up, for it to be morning and afternoon and evening again, I just wanted us to live right then and there. This was the summer Erlend Elias lost his best friend, when his grandfather died, but found himself. Erlend Elias was actually supposed to work at the nursing home at home in Tysfjord, but the holiday trip to Oslo changed everything. EXPERIMENTED: Erlend Elias played to find himself. Here during a photo session in a clothes shop in Oslo with a friend. Photo: Privat Many people spend time finding themselves At this time, he didn’t really know who he was. In “Summer in P2”, he says that he had felt like an extra in the lives of the people around him. – I felt in my body and in my heart that I was light. Perhaps most of all after a community where I could feel that I belonged, so that I didn’t have to feel so different and alone anymore, says Erlend Elias. Fortunately for young queers, not as many people are aware of that uncertainty today. In any case, if we are to believe Viljar Eidsvik, leader of the association Fri. – A lot of positive things have happened in Norway in recent years, and every sunshine story should be a joy for everyone. For many, it is completely unproblematic to be open about sexual orientation or gender identity, or to be able to dress and express yourself as you wish, he writes in an email. At the same time, a survey carried out by Bufdir in 2022 shows that 16 per cent of those questioned believe it would be problematic if their children had an orientation other than heterosexual. – That number is still too high. We know that support from family and loved ones is very important for health when you get out, writes Eidsvik. According to Fri, it can be experienced as more difficult to come forward if you live in an area without a queer environment to lean on, or have grown up in a closed religious environment. And for Erlend Elias, the queer environment in Oslo became important. Viljar Eidsvik, leader of Fri, believes it is important to highlight pride. – Then you take a stand for basic human rights and clearly state that you believe queers should be able to love who we want and be who we are. Photo: Jane-Bjørnstad / Fri First meeting with love After the holiday in Oslo, Erlend Elias chose to move to the capital. He got a job, a place to live, and he met his first love. Of course at the London Pub. Erlend Elias still remembers the first meeting. How the man on the other side of the room danced with the drink in one hand and the cigarette in the other, because in those days it was legal to smoke inside. He remembers that the man smiled, took a bet and came walking towards Erlend Elias. – I had little experience of being checked up and fell head over heels in love, he says. And in weeks filled with overnight stays, scootering and tight, low-waisted trousers, Erlend Elias felt the lump in his stomach grow. His family at home didn’t know the secret he was living out in Oslo. It was time to tell them that Erlend Elias was queer. SHOOTING: On 25 June 2022, the London Pub in Oslo was the scene of a terrorist attack, in which two people were killed. Photo: Simon Skjelvik Brandseth / news The pink T-shirt First up was the three-year-old sister. Erlend Elias sat on the edge of the bed and burst into tears. – I have to tell you something, he said. – I like boys. The sister just laughed. – I’ve known that since you were little, she replied. – Are you going to tell mum and dad? The solution was a letter on the kitchen table when Erlend Elias was to return to Oslo. But on the way to the airport, he had to ask the driver to turn around to collect the letter. It became too difficult to reveal his orientation. What he didn’t know was that he had left a pink T-shirt at his mother’s house. – When my mother found it, she asked her sister if it was her T-shirt, says Erlend Elias. The sister said what was true: That the T-shirt belonged to Erlend Elias. – What will be next? That he comes home with a group of men, asked the mother. – Those who wait will see, answered the elder sister. And not long after, Erlend Elias’ phone rang. Mom asked if he liked boys. Erlend Elias cried, laid his cards on the table, and asked her not to say anything to dad. But it wasn’t long before the phone rang again. Erlend Elias went cold all over. On the display it said dad. Erlend Elias was already crying when he answered the phone, but he managed to say what was on his heart. – You have to love whoever you want, replied dad. – Love is for everyone, and you are a rainbow, and you must continue to spread colors around the world. Published 30.07.2024, at 16.10 Updated 30.07.2024, at 16.54
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Erlend Elias completely froze when dad called – news Nordland
