After reading author Tore Renberg’s chronicle, I would like to share my experiences as a health nurse with 18 years of experience in the school health service: We meet more anxious parents now than before. We are more often asked to help with restlessness, anxiety and social difficulties. It seems to me that we are seeing a generation of parents who have become more afraid than before to overlook psychological challenges. Children’s efforts must be met with security and curiosity. Parents who use their curiosity will usually get the child talking. But in the face of difficulties, doubt quickly creeps in; What if it’s something more serious? The parents ask the health nurse and there are usually conversations about the children’s development and challenges. Quite often there are parents who do not find peace in the answer we give, but want a psychologist or a referral to mental health care. We get inquiries about how they can get picky children to eat. We can of course talk to the child, but will that help? There is anxiety to trace in the mother: “Is there something wrong with her?” We are talking about good meals, quiet surroundings and that much can be improved when they receive less attention around the meal. We try to strengthen the parents’ self-esteem through listening and guidance. Or it could be the girl who doesn’t want to attend school. Parents, health nurses and teachers get together and look for patterns. There are regular meetings, appointments and teachers make a plan to see her every morning. Eventually the girl calms down and shows signs of thriving. The conversations showed that it was very important to be understood. The parents also calm down. It was a normal reaction to something, not anxiety. The parents wanted the help of a psychologist quite early on in this case. Parents ask for help when they see acting out, stomachaches and children who are struggling. It is of course important to find out how serious the symptom is and refer to the right help. At the same time, as I repeat to many troubled parents; regardless of whether this expression for your child gets a name, a diagnosis, we will still do much of the same. Parents are frightened by all the talk about children and young people’s challenges. We must give parents faith that they can provide the most important help themselves – by being safe adults. I think there are more parents than before who want us in the support system to get involved. What was previously perhaps discussed with a friend or a family member, where it was found that this is a natural development, today becomes an inquiry, just to be safe. We health nurses notice it, and we talk about it. And, yes, we are also complicit. Because many parent guidance courses are offered by the municipality to prevent it from becoming difficult. Then the parents will also be more aware that it can be difficult, and we owe it to the parents to say that they can do most of the work themselves. Most things pass – but if it doesn’t, we will meet and see if we or others can help. Young people who have parents who meet them in their insecurities, tolerate and see them, will make a big difference. I want to cheer for parents who get scared when the conversations are filled with adrenaline. Trust the parenting power you have. ALSO READ:
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