Dear women, you must not lower your standards. Dear men, you must not just get together. It is of course awkward and painful when men and women who want to be in a relationship or get laid, do not meet someone who wants the same. Of course, it is also a challenge that we are constantly getting more elderly and fewer people of working age. Does this mean that women have to lower their standards, men have to get their act together and that everyone just has to “take social responsibility” and pop out one kid after another? No! We should all have expectations of a potential partner. We envision a person to spend the rest of our lives with. I refuse to believe that anyone really wants a society where both men and women go into long-term relationships thinking “Yeah, yeah, he/she is good enough.” Then we want a society with a bunch of unhappy couples. I get angry and frustrated when women are asked to lower the standard and blamed for the fact that a majority of men don’t get a desk and that fertility is at record lows. However, I get so angry and frustrated when men are told to get together. It sounds as if the majority of the men in this country are wretched, hopeless and unattractive to women. That’s not how it is. Are you one of those who think women must lower the standard? What does that standard indicate? Yes, women know there are many good men out there who are worth chasing. It is right, reasonable and healthy to have wishes and expectations for the person you spend time with. In a tinderified dating culture, you have to take into account that a certain amount of openness is required, some time spent and room for gossip. You must be able to know whether the person you are texting with, or meeting for the first, second or third time, meets your wishes and expectations. Neither the pictures, the first message nor the first meeting are enough to decide it. Many of us are not that calm, open, funny and relaxed on a first date. Otherwise, there is a lot of talk about women not choosing men of lower status than themselves. It is alleged that women have an inability to choose partners, or are picky and snobbish. I don’t think status is a deciding factor for anyone. I’m pretty sure personal qualities and chemistry rank higher. Two alternative explanations: 1: Men are not selected on the basis of status, but on the basis of how they meet any limitations, cope with life and the status they have. 2: Men are not selected on the basis of status, but on the basis of how they experience, relate to and cope with being in a relationship where the woman has the best finances. Let it be resoundingly clear that these two explanations can also apply to women. Some things may still be worth looking into. Regarding explanation one, it is the case that men can more often struggle to get into the study of their dreams because they do not have the grades they need. This is not about women being smarter than men, but that we have a school that is more suited to girls than boys. Regarding explanation two, it is not only men who find it difficult to have the worst finances. I think the majority of us, men and women alike, appreciate being as equal as possible, also when it comes to finances. However, men have traditionally had an expectation to be the breadwinner in the relationship. One last thing before we go in for landing. It is fascinating how it is the woman, as an individual or a group, who is given the responsibility of tidying up and saving the day. Among other things, by having more children, so that we can also have a well-functioning society in the future. Why should the problem be solved by half the population, when the desired result will benefit the entire population? Isn’t it natural to talk about how we can solve the problem together, so that we can have the best possible society for everyone? It is not the woman’s fault that the birth rate is low, nor is it the woman’s responsibility to fix it. The record low fertility is a major challenge, and it can be difficult to know what can contribute to solving it. Not everyone can have children, nor is it the case that everyone wants children, and that has to be okay. The children who come into this world should be wanted, and they should feel it from day one. So no, everyone should not have children, whatever the cost. It does not serve the individual, nor society. So feel free to sleep together this summer, but not because Trygve Slagsvold Vedum asked you to or because Mads Larsen believes the low birth rates are so serious that women must change the way they date. Feel free to have children, but not because you/you feel you have to or because Erna asked you to, but because you would like to become parents. Continue to have wishes and expectations for a partner. We deserve to be on good terms and there are plenty of good people out there. Published 03.08.2024, at 19.38
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Don’t lower the standard, don’t pull yourself together – Speech
