After news published the case of “Silje”, who only realized several years later that she had raped a man, around twenty men have made contact. They tell their stories and are happy that the topic is being addressed. For some of them, it took a long time before they themselves understood that they had been subjected to abuse. Raped after a work party – Immediately thought it was me, but my experience is probably further back in time, writes “Arne” in his e-mail. He does not want to come forward with his real name, but has met news. For many years he is said to have carried the bad secret alone, before finally having a mental breakdown. – I have never heard that it is possible to be raped as a man. I just thought I was a weakling who had to accept it. “Arne” says that he was in his early 20s when a farewell party was held at work. When he was going to the toilet, he is said to have been pushed in by a female colleague. She locked the door, and pulled down his pants. “Arne” further says that he panicked and ran outside. But he must not have escaped her anyway. The following morning, she sat on the edge of the bed with a smoke and looked at him, according to “Arne”. Otherwise, he remembered nothing of what had happened. WILL TELL: “Arne” says he has experienced a sexual assault in the 1990s that has shaped his life. Now he wants to tell his story. Photo: Lars Tore Endresen / news – I was shocked Two colleagues had followed him to the apartment after the party the night before. But he does not know how the woman had also got in there. “Arne” says that he was naked when he woke up in bed, and that her gaze was fixed on him. His body is said to have been full of claw marks. – I was shocked. I felt that something had happened below. He later learned that some women had bet on who would get him into bed first. This night was the start of a difficult period, according to “Arne”. – I was ashamed and didn’t want to talk about it. I thought this is not normal. It was a lady, so I just have to keep this a secret. How would others talk about me as a man? Are you a victim of sexual assault? Here you can get help: Various aid organizations you can contact: – Realize that I am not alone. It must have been in conversation with a psychiatrist many years later that the incident came to light. By then “Arne” had hit the wall and was seriously ill. He never did anything more about the matter, but think he would report it if it happened again. “Arne” read the story of “Silje”, and says it meant a lot to him. – I understood it better then. I realize I’m not alone. A man we call “Bjørn” will also share his experience. He was, like “Arne”, in his early 20s when he was allegedly raped in his sleep. He says that it took 20 years before he understood that he had been subjected to abuse. The evening had started with a few beers in town with his girlfriend and a group of acquaintances. But in the nachspiel it went wrong, according to “Bjørn”. – I was perplexed In the house where the after-party was held, “Bjørn” is said to have woken up with his trousers down, and a strange woman on top of him. – I was perplexed and thought it was a joke. I wondered where my lady was and got off the sofa, pushed her away and went home. On the way home, “Bjørn” felt that he had been unfaithful. But he didn’t dare tell anyone. – I thought no one would believe me. I’m a man and that’s what they expect. I kept quiet about it. But for years afterwards it was something I thought about, and felt like crap because of it, he says. He never spoke to the woman again. But he is said to have told the story to a friend several years later who said: “You were raped, after all. You were the victim of an assault.” Until now, “Bjørn” had always thought that it was he who had done something wrong. – I had a really bad conscience towards the woman I was with, and I haven’t told her that to this day. He still doesn’t like to talk about what happened. – I’m afraid of the reactions, that I won’t be believed. Few inquiries to the police The stories of “Arne” and “Bjørn” are probably not unique. Many men experience sexual abuse, but never report it. The support center for victims of crime provides advice and guidance to victims of crime, and is an offer where the police collaborate with SMISO, the Nok centers and crisis centres. TABOO-BASED: Senior adviser Petter Jacobsen Hjelseth at the support center for victims of crime at the South-East police district believes there are large numbers of men who experience sexual abuse. Out of 850 inquiries to the support center last year, only 5-7 were from men who were victims of sexual abuse. – I would like to think that it is more taboo for a man to contact the emergency services and the police. We can hope that we will be able to capture more of them in the future, says senior adviser Petter Jacobsen Hjelseth at the support centre. Several choose to report the case after a conversation with the centre, according to Hjelseth. These receive follow-up from a support person. – You can talk to us safely. We do not initiate criminal proceedings based on what they tell us. Hjelseth believes that “Silje’s” story has been positive for focusing on the topic. – I would like to believe that there is obviously something that brings down the dark figures, he says. news has not been in contact with the women who are said to have carried out the rapes by the men interviewed in this case. Therefore, both stories are only told from one side of the cases.
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Did not understand that it was a rape – news Vestfold and Telemark – Local news, TV and radio
