Virke recently estimated that we will spend NOK 133 billion on the Christmas shopping this year. Part of this also goes to advent calendars, which many couples invest in. For some it’s fun, for others it can be a chore, but do both really have to give calendars to each other? No, says couples therapist and sexologist Camilla Sørensen. – Not a Christmas person If you don’t get one in return, Sørensen says that it doesn’t necessarily mean that the other person doesn’t care about you or love you. – You show love in different ways, points out the expert. Silje thinks it’s nice to show a little extra care and time to her near and dear ones at Christmas, and she does that, among other things, by making a packing calendar. Photo: private Silje Pedersen (36) agrees. She has been with her boyfriend for two and a half years. For the first time, she will make a packing calendar for him. Amongst other things, hidden behind the hatches are chocolates and some activities for them to do together. But she has no expectations of getting a calendar herself. – He is not a Christmas person. For him, Christmas could probably pass in silence. Nevertheless, Silje finds great joy in giving him a calendar, and she emphasizes that they show love in slightly different ways. The boyfriend, for example, is good at arranging trips. news has been in contact with the girlfriend, who does not want to comment on the case. He has approved that news mentions it. Made dorullnisse calendar Susanne Høyem (23) and Benjamin Trondsen (25) have been together since winter 2021. While Susanne was used to a slightly larger arrangement around Christmas calendars from childhood, Benjamin was used to receiving a flax calendar from his grandmother. So when Susanne presented a large-scale Christmas calendar last year, with pictures of the couple and chocolates in the hatches, Benjamin was very happy. – But so far I hadn’t even thought about it, he chuckles. The couple are both happy to spend quality time, and Benjamin really appreciates that Susanne does a little extra pampering in the run-up to Christmas. Photo: Privat Therefore he wanted to contribute some creativity to this year’s Christmas calendar. But he admits that his creativity may not be quite on par with his girlfriend’s. In return, Susanne got a good laugh out of Benjamin’s lively proposal to make 24 doro wool gnomes. Even if there will be no Christmas elves at Susanne this year, she would probably have been happy about it: the couple agree that you don’t need something big and expensive for it to mean a lot. – It is important to value the small things, he says. While Benjamin keeps what is hidden behind this year’s shutters from Susanne a secret, Susanne is willing to share a little about her plans. Since the couple are very happy to do activities together, there may be a small walk or cafe trip hidden in Benjamin’s hatches. And if he is lucky; maybe even a small piece of chocolate. In the run-up to Christmas, the idea that Susanne puts in the Christmas calendar helps Benjamin feel closer to her. Photo: Privat It’s important to talk together Couple therapist and sexologist Camilla Sørensen says that the most important thing about Christmas calendars is often the emotional aspect and the thought behind it. And if you have a need to get a calendar in return to feel loved, it’s fine to have a conversation about it, says the couples therapist. Couple therapist Camilla Sørensen says it is alpha and omega to base the Christmas calendar on your partner’s love language. Photo: Ida Erlandsen Sørensen says that you distinguish between five different love languages: Appreciative words, time, gifts, favors and physical touch. – It is incredibly important to find out what your and your partner’s love language is. A calendar is a golden opportunity to show love in your partner’s way. If, for example, you have physical touch as your love language, the couples therapist recommends that you hide a massage or a good hug behind the hatch. And if you are an older couple looking for something that can give a new spark, the Christmas calendar can also be a good idea: Benjamin’s chocolate calendar from Susanne last year can suit a young as well as an older couple, the sexologist believes. Photo: Private – Then it might be a good idea to think back in time and think about what your partner used to appreciate before, says Sørensen. Single? – Make one yourself! For those of us who are single, there is also advice and tips on how to make yourself feel loved: – Love language is not only something you should give away, but also something you should give to yourself, explains the expert and adds: – If your love language is physical touch, you can book a massage session. If they are words of appreciation, you can write down some good words for yourself. After all, it is probably easier to make a Christmas calendar for yourself, because you may know what you need yourself.
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Couples therapist and sexologist’s tips for a Christmas calendar for couples in love – news Nordland
