The case in summary: Only seven percent of young adults become lovers after meeting each other in the city. 70 percent of young Norwegians use, or have used, dating apps. Professor Mons Bendixen at NTNU believes that dating apps may have made it more difficult for people to check up on others in the traditional way. Bendixen encourages people to decline in a pleasant way to make check culture less scary. The summary is made by an AI service from OpenAi. The content is quality assured by news’s journalists before publication. When Kim Hamre is in a cafe or night club and sees a lady he is curious about, he has no problem approaching her. The 23-year-old from Bergen dares to do it even without alcohol or friends to back him up. – There are many girls who are surprised and shocked that I do it, and it’s very funny. My friends are also surprised, because most of them don’t dare. Afraid of discomfort 7 out of 10 young Norwegians use, or have used, dating apps, shows an news survey. Meeting a girlfriend there is far more common for young people than meeting a girlfriend in the city. There is a clear distinction between people over and under the age of 40: First the obvious: Many older people certainly met their girlfriends before the age of dating apps. Tinder came in 2012, and has 75 million monthly active users, according to the World population review. Norway is on the list of countries with a particularly large number of users. Today, Tinder is just one of many on the same street. Hinge, Happn, Bumble, Raya – to name a few. Have the dating apps come in addition to checking in the city, or instead? Hinge advertises that this is the dating app that is designed to be deleted. Photo: Ksenia Novikova / news – I feel a lot of people are shy today. As soon as we are in an unpleasant situation, we pick up the phone and distract ourselves, says Hamre. Have people forgotten to flirt? At the start of her 20s, Anniken Lauritzen (33) was on dating apps. She was there to find a boyfriend. But she usually ran into people who wanted something else. Now she wants to be single, but is very happy to date for good company and an ego boost. – I like to ask my girlfriends if they have friends to hook me up with. There is always someone who thinks they have the perfect one for me. A colleague, brother or neighbour. Even if it’s not always a match, it makes for a good story. The worst thing you get is a no, says Anniken Lauritzen, who likes to ask if someone wants to go on a date. Photo: Anniken Lauritzen The 33-year-old shares her dating life on social media. She gets many of the dates because people contact her there. – This summer I met the most people outside. In training and cafes. It is because I look up and dare to make contact. Now we’re at home more, so now it’s clearly on Instagram and the like that I meet most of the time. Lauritzen believes people must stop being so afraid of rejection. – It seems that people have forgotten to flirt. There are probably various reasons for this, but age can make us more afraid of being rejected. The worst you’ll get is a no. Can lead to lower self-esteem Mons Bendixen is a professor at the Department of Psychology at NTNU, and has, among other things, researched students’ use and experience of Tinder. He thinks the dating apps may have contributed to the fact that a good number of us find it more difficult to check in the city. – For some people, I think dating apps are a substitute, because they find it safer. The rejection you get in there is a bit different than a direct physical rejection in the city. Professor at NTNU, Mons Bendixen. Photo: Kirsti Kringstad / news But even if checking behind a screen may be perceived as safer, the chance of success on dating apps is relatively small, according to the NTNU research. – There are few people who succeed on Tinder. They do not succeed in finding a stable partner, nor do they succeed in a short-term sexual relationship, says the professor. He points out that you experience more rejections on dating apps, and that the scale can be serious for the confidence you need to check in the real world. – The feeling of being attractive depends on you getting a positive response. If you get little response, or a lot of negative response, you feel less attractive. Many are probably more disillusioned now than before, because they have now tried yet another way to get a partner – also without success. Tinder is the world’s most used app for dating and checking. Photo: Ksenia Novikova / news Hasn’t always been outgoing Kim Hamre likes to stop by Tinder a couple of times a week to swipe a little. All the dates he has been on in recent years have also been arranged after a physical meeting. Maybe it’s easy for him, who is so fearless and social? – I have not always been outgoing. If I met a stranger before, I was happy to pick up the phone, because I was out of my comfort zone and needed a place to escape to. Do you dare to check up on someone in town? He has received good training after he became active in politics and organizational life. In addition, he is conscious of starting conversations, and has gained very good experience with it. Kim Hamre has practiced becoming more outgoing. Photo: Kjell Jøran Hansen / news – If I meet people in real life it goes much better than on Tinder. It is much easier to understand each other, and then it is easier that it leads to something. And he shares a tip. Essential for flirting – Eye contact has a lot to say, I notice. When I’ve been out on the town and met girls, it goes much better if I’m confident and can maintain good eye contact. It’s completely impossible on Tinder. Hamre is on to something here, we are to believe Professor Bendixen, who has also researched which flirting works best. – The very basics of flirting are eye contact and a smile, says Bendixen. Touching, on the other hand… – It’s a risky sport! People usually don’t like to be picked on early in the conversation. And what when you’re the one being checked up on? – There is quite a big responsibility on the person who is contacted, he says, and encourages people to decline in a pleasant way so that the checking culture in real life will become a little less scary. Hi! So glad you’ve read all the way down here! Do you have a dating or love story that others should hear about? Do you have a tip, or something on your mind after reading this case? Then send us an email!
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Check someone out? Many girls are surprised when Kim Hamre checks them out on the town – news Trøndelag – Local news, TV and radio
