The bonus family is the most growing family form in Norway. Therefore, the role of the bonus parents is becoming increasingly important, and this should be recognized more than is the case today. We must fight the previous narrative about the “mean stepmother” and that the bonus family is less valuable than the core families. In the column “Bonusparents in lawless terrain”, Charlotte Tigerstedt advocates giving bonus parents legal party rights in matters concerning the bonus children. It is not a sustainable way to go. She emphasizes that it is particularly important that bonus parents have the right to access documents relating to the child, such as information from daycare, school and health information. Here we are talking about confidential documents with a lot of vulnerable content. Many biological parents will feel it as an additional burden that a bonus father or bonus mother with whom they may not have a particularly good relationship, has both full insight and co-determination. That bonus parents, with the help of law, and not based on volunteering, should gain access to all sensitive papers concerning the child, appears to be poorly thought out. Experience shows that bonus families are often characterized by conflicts between biological parents and bonus parents. For many, it is difficult enough to come to terms with the other biological parent after a break-up. One can easily imagine what it would be like if bonus parents – often one from each side – were to be able to say something about everything from residence to school, and other important areas that concern the bonus child. We at the Bonus family association are concerned that this could open up many additional conflicts and discussions between biological parents and the new bonus parents. An increased level of conflict over time is very harmful for children, and one should not only criticize the bonus parents’ rights without at the same time seeing how this can affect the climate of cooperation – both in the bonus families and between the biological parents. Research from abroad shows that 2/3 of all bonus families end up breaking up. This is rarely due to a lack of motivation, but the fact that there are complex new family forms to be established. There has so far been little research into this in Norway, but here too we know that many bonus relationships end in breakup. What happens to the bonus parents’ party rights in the event of a breakup with the biological father/mother? What will happen if the biological parents establish themselves again? How many bonus parents with party rights will there be, and how will this be experienced by the children involved? Regular relationships and new families often start more rosy, while bonus families start on an uphill climb, often after painful break-ups. It brings with it many challenges. Therefore, we need both more information, good advice and courses for the new bonus families. What we don’t need are laws and regulations that make it more demanding than it already is. Follow the debate:
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Boom shots about bonus families – Statement
