The matter in summary: TikToker and speaker Jonas Felde Sevaldrud believes that society must take boys’ sexuality seriously and that boys in Norway know too little about sex. He is supported by sexological adviser Andreas Håheim, who points out that porn is often the only source of sexual education for many boys, and that there is a lack of good role models. Sevaldrud believes it is problematic that men talk too little about sex, as it can lead to a vicious spiral and a lack of understanding of their own and other people’s boundaries. Håheim, who has written a book about men and sexuality, believes it is important to talk about bad sex experiences and that some men almost fear sex. Sevaldrud wants men to talk to a greater extent about sex, and points out that those who talk about sex in the media are often highly educated and do not necessarily reach the young men who need it most. Both believe it is important to create a culture where it is accepted to talk openly about sex and sexual challenges. The summary is made by an AI service from OpenAI. The content is quality assured by news’s journalists before publication. – Sexuality is perhaps one of the areas where I think we lag behind girls and women the longest when you hear how they talk to each other, and what role models they have, including podcasts that also reach young people. That’s what Tiktoker, writer and speaker Jonas Felde Sevaldrud (28) says. TALK ABOUT IT: Norwegian men talk too little about sex, says Jonas Felde Sevaldrud. Photo: Tom Balgaard / news What do Norwegian boys really know about sex? Far too little, says Sevaldrud. He is supported by the sexological adviser at Stavangersexologene, Andreas Håheim. – Porn becomes so close to us. For many, it may be the only place for knowledge about sexuality. There aren’t that many role models when it comes to sexuality, and there are a lot of bad role models, says Håheim. Sevaldrud and Håheim have talked about the topic in Helgemorgen on news 1. VULNERABLE: It is not abnormal to have a bad sexual experience, says sexological adviser and author Andreas Håheim. Photo: Ingvild Stuedal Taranger / news Talking openly about sex On the street in Drammen, the topic is something that engages young men. – It is probably a result of overexposure to porn. This means that we have got a slightly more banal and childish relationship to sex, not quite as mature, says Eirik Stryken. – My friends and I have a very open relationship when it comes to sex, and we talk about it, says Filip Kremner (23). Stryken himself experiences that boys have more banal questions in sex education, while girls wonder more about “what actually matters”. He himself describes the sex education he himself received in the mid-2000s as lacking. – I had no idea what I was doing the first time I had sex. I was 19 years old, but had zero laces on anything. The only experience you have is very little representative of how it actually feels. Kremner believes that men of his generation find it easier to talk about sexuality, compared to other generations. – It is not as taboo as it has been before. How often do you talk to someone about sex and sexuality? Daily Several times a week Weekly Monthly Rarely Never Show result Problematic Sevaldrud has written several chronicles about mental health and young men’s sexuality. He believes it is problematic that Norwegian men talk too little about sex. – You can then enter a vicious spiral. In addition, it is incredibly important, both to set your own limits, but also to understand the limits of others, that you have good knowledge about sex. In a report from the National Knowledge Center on Violence and Traumatic Stress in 2023, it emerged that one in five women state that they have been raped. – One of the reasons why we can get a little better at preventing such things is that, among other things, you learn about what limits you have, and what is okay and not okay to do, says Sevaldrud. EVERYDAY: It is problematic that Norwegian men talk too little about sex, says Sevaldrud. Photo: Bård Nafstad / news Research shows that men generally talk less about difficult topics, including sex, than women. This can partly be explained through biological and cultural factors. A German/Dutch study from earlier this year also finds that traditional gender norms can prevent men from expressing vulnerability. Women are often more used to opening up in conversations about difficult topics because they have more natural meeting places in the healthcare system, such as contraception or pregnancy. In addition, there is a social expectation that affects men’s willingness to talk openly about such topics, especially in relation to health and relationships. – Completely normal to fail TikToker Jonas Sevaldrud would like to see men talk more about sex face to face, and not just resort to podcasts on the topic. He points out that several of those who talk about sex in the media are often highly educated doctors and professionals. – It’s super nice, but it may not be what reaches the young men and boys who need someone to stand up for themselves, and who speaks the boys’ language. Sexologist Andreas Håheim encourages boys and men to shift the conversation from the “cool” and “tough” to the everyday that concerns us all. – Not necessarily about who has been with whom, how hard and delicious it was, but honestly about the challenges you experience. It is supported by Sevaldrud. – It’s about opening up, and being able to show that it’s completely normal to fail on the first try. It happens to so many of us, but no one dares to say it. That is the culture we need to create. Young people have many strange questions about sex, porn and masturbation. Lydia and Stian try to answer some of the questions that have been submitted to ung.no. Published 12.10.2024, at 21.00
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Believes Norwegian men know too little about sex – calls for more openness – news Troms and Finnmark
