– It is important to shout a little a few times and maybe slam a door. You are allowed to vent, say what you know, think and think. Then you get the energy out, says author and blogger Kristine Storli Henningsen. Politicians argue about priorities and national borders. Soccer players argue with the referee about throw-ins and tackles with the studs first. In reality shows on TV, they argue about most things. At home, some loved ones shout at each other, while others sweep disagreements under the rug. What is the healthiest? Have your say in the comments section at the bottom of the story. Summary • Arguing can be healthy if it is done in the right way, according to author and blogger Kristine Storli Henningsen.• Henningsen’s advice for arguing in a healthy way includes avoiding calling each other names, not bringing up old issues, and expressing own boundaries and feelings.• Henningsen believes that arguing has gained an undeserved bad reputation, and that it can be healthy to show anger.• She also believes that it can be good to argue in front of children, as long as there are no serious conflicts, and that it is important to talk to the children afterwards. The summary is made by an AI service from OpenAi. The content is quality assured by news’s journalists before publication. The Manchester United players surrounded referee Craig Pawson last season. Arguing with the referee rarely leads to anything on a football pitch. Photo: Dave Thompson / AP Krangleråd Henningsen has published the book “Antisuper” and ran the blog Antisupermamma for a long time. She is often characterized as a 24-day therapist. The author has three children and gave up trying to be a “perfect” mother. – Can arguing be healthy? – Absolutely. It is impossible not to hurt and offend each other from time to time, we just have to establish that. If someone in a relationship says they have never hurt each other, I wonder if one or both of them are robots. Here is some of Henningsen’s advice for arguing “correctly”: Avoid calling each other things. Do not drag up old dirt. Try not to hammer on with “you”, “you” and “you”. Try to argue in a constructive way and speak for yourself. Express your own boundaries, or what you think and know. – Then I think it is possible to not only get closer to your partner, but also yourself, she says. Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton got into some heated arguments during the presidential election campaign in 2016. Here they blame each other for being dummies. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10 Kjell Arne Hermansen became Drammen’s new mayor in the autumn, after an election campaign with both constructive proposals – and some arguments. – Are you a brawler? – No, I don’t think so, I think I’m quite stable in my mood. I have some experience from being a “mediator” in business, by getting two parties to meet and agree. It is important to take each other seriously and also think about how the other party is doing. Then it is easier to find solutions in the future. In politics, there are often discussions across party lines. Disagreements can be big and compromise can seem far away. It can be very hot, but according to Hermansen it is important to keep a cool head. – It is important to sometimes count to ten, but at the same time not suppress if there is something you are dissatisfied with, then you should speak up. But it might be wise to think it through before you say anything. Høgre’s recent mayor in Drammen, Kjell Arne Hermansen, encourages fairness. Photo: Caroline Bækkelund Hauge / news Terrible periods Kristine Storli Henningsen says that she and her husband no longer argue so much. – We have had some decent periods of argument. It’s terrible to stand in, but I think it’s been good for us. One of them was when we moved in together. Then there were things like “oh, you mess up so much” and “now you’re home, yes”. Another well-known situation arose when they had three children in three years. Kristine Storli Henningsen argues less now than she did when she moved in with her husband. Photo: Caroline Utti / news – There was a lot of stress then. There was a lot of organisation, something he is fortunately good at. We became a small business and didn’t really have time to argue. Then there was wine, sugar and legs high when it was evening. When they started an actual business together, Forfatterskolen, other challenges arose. They were close to each other all day and every evening. – But the fact that we were in the tough conflicts then means that we are better off than ever now. We know each other very well, and we manage to say one word, without any slips of paper. It is indescribably wonderful. – Undeserved reputation According to the Norwegian Academy’s dictionary, a quarrel means the following: trøytte characterized by unfriendliness; cackling mischief that contributes to or sets up to create difficulties, tired For most people, the word probably has a negative connotation. Henningsen thinks arguing has gotten a bit of a bad reputation. – Yes, I think so. We have lived in Spain and Panama for several years, and there it is more normal to show anger. They argue, vent and get it over with. I have tried to be inspired by it. We must not be so afraid of it. – Are we a little shy of conflict here in Norway? – Especially between women. I’m good at arguing with my husband and the kids, but I find it terribly difficult to argue with my girlfriends. That’s where it stops for me. Should we argue in front of the children? – This is a hot topic in Norway, and more normally abroad. But what happens if we don’t argue in front of the children? If everything is perfect, that’s fine, but that’s rarely the case. I think that if we save it for after bedtime, it can lead to a slightly unpleasant atmosphere in the house, and children perceive it. And the imagination is often stronger than the evidence, says author and blogger Kristine Storli Henningsen. She says that this is a hot topic in Norway, while it is more normal in many other countries. – What happens if we don’t argue in front of the children? If everything is perfect, that’s fine, but that’s rarely the case. I think that if we save it for after bedtime, it can lead to a slightly unpleasant atmosphere in the house, and children perceive it. And imagination is often stronger than reality. Henningsen says that she had good role models in her parents, and that they were 100 per cent themselves in front of her. They could have a blowout, and then they were friends again. – I think back to the feeling I had, and it was actually that I was completely safe. I thought it was normal. That’s why I have deliberately taken on some conflicts, while the children have been there. Not the deepest and most intimate disagreements, but everyday conflicts. The kids could look at us with wide eyes, but they learn. Once her son told her that he thought the parents had such a good time together. “But we also argue.” “Yes, then, but I would have been more afraid if they didn’t argue,” he replied. – Can’t children be terribly afraid then, if their parents often argue? – Yes, but there is a difference between arguing. The argument where they start calling each other things and bring up old shit, the children shouldn’t see it. And then it is important to talk to them afterwards, that is the most important thing. Children are used to arguing, they too. And just as they become friends again in kindergarten, so do mum and dad. Do you find it difficult to stand in an argument? What do you think is the most important thing to think about if you end up in one? Hello! Welcome to dialogue at news. Since you are logged in to other news services, you do not have to log in again here, but we need your consent to our terms of use for online dialogue
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