We are sitting in a bright and spacious basement flat with a mother who misses her daughter. She shows a picture. A little girl with little mouse braids smiles at the camera. The girl in the picture has just turned two years old. A few months have passed since the mother voluntarily relinquished custody, and asked the child welfare agency to find someone else to take care of her daughter. – I actually saw her yesterday. I see that she is happy and having fun. It warms my heart, says the mother to news, in the podcast “On the inside of child care”. The mother and the other contributors to the podcast have been anonymised, for the sake of the children and the staff. According to the Directorate for Children, Youth and Families, around 1,000 children are placed in foster homes in Norway each year. The little girl with the little mouse braids has just become one of them. – It was very hard. To understand the mother’s story, we have to rewind several months, to the day she ran away from her husband and called child welfare. The incident triggered an emergency situation. The police were called. The two-year-old was picked up by child protection and transported to a crisis center together with his mother. Later, they were given a place at a family centre, where the mother would receive help to cope with everyday life on her own. The mother thought she would be able to take care of her daughter alone. It did not work. She had a breakdown, and asked child protection to find an emergency home for her daughter. – It was very heavy. I cried for several days, but I still think it was good that they took her away from me. I wasn’t the good mum I thought I was, says the 27-year-old. The mother hopes that her daughter will return. Photo: Anders Leines Marked increase in voluntary adoption This mother is not alone in giving up care for her child. This is shown in a report from the University of Bergen carried out for the Ministry of Children and Families, from 2018 to 2021. – Over the course of four years, the number of care takeovers with the consent of one or both parents has gone from 25 per cent to 40 per cent. There is a marked increase in a short time, says Marit Skivenes, child welfare researcher and political scientist at the University of Bergen. She believes that it is basically positive that more people agree to take over care, and that it expresses good child protection work. – At the same time, it gives reason to ask what is behind the change, and so far there are no good answers to this, says researcher Marit Skivenes. Was placed in an emergency home herself. Child protection praises the mother for being able to put the child first. – How wise you are to be able to put your daughter’s needs first. I know that you love her and that you want the best for her, case manager “Marte” says to her mother. As a child, the young mother herself was placed in emergency care. She wished she had been there longer. – I myself have not received the love I need, says the mother. When she gave up care, child protection found an emergency home for her daughter. It is a temporary solution until child protection finds out what is best for the child in the long term. The mother agreed that the emergency home should be turned into a foster home, so that the girl could stay there longer. The dog and the other toys are waiting for the girl. Photo: Andres Leines Hopes that the daughter will come home one day The father of the two-year-old does not agree that the child is better off with someone else. – When child protection is involved, it just becomes a mess. Then the family is split up. I don’t know if I am the best for my daughter, but I will do my best. I want her back, but realize that it can’t be now, says the father. Today, the father has neither the finances nor the resources to take care of the two-year-old. It’s quiet at her mother’s house. There are no two-year-olds running around here. But in the corner there is a play rug and some toys. – It is my hope that she might come home one day. That I will be able to take care of her and that we can be together 24/7, says the mother. Now the little girl will stay in the foster home for at least a year. After that, the parents can apply to get custody back. Child protection has a duty to regularly assess whether the girl can move back in with one of the parents. – We value the biological principle, but it must not come at the expense of the child, says case manager “Marte”. She feels that both the mother and the father in this case understand that they have to change things in order to give their daughter the best upbringing. – It does something to me that you manage to put your own child before your own needs. It’s nice, concludes case manager “Marte”. Everyone who participates and is mentioned in this article from the podcast “On the inside of childcare” is anonymised. The Child Welfare Office too. news does this out of consideration for the families and the employees. Empty swings in the garden. Photo: Anders Leines
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Although she wasn’t a good enough mother
