We often talk about the big things when we say “follow your dream”. There is often a round-the-world voyage underway, or a lot of money, possibly a cabin somewhere far up in the mountains (I suspect that the latter dream is a bit peculiarly Norwegian). But as a psychologist, I see that the real dreams of people are of a completely different nature. The real dreams are really about living a life that rhymes with who you are as a person. That the outside and the inside agree. It can be something as simple as, for example, being as social as you want to be. Not as social as the average is. And it’s not always easy, especially when you live in Norway. A country where we are not only the same, we also believe that the average Norwegian way is how everyone should live. Preferably by implication that those who live differently are those who didn’t make it, or those with whom there is something wrong. When you live in such a place, the road to work, mortgage, Volvo and 1.7 children is quite short, regardless of whether it is life for you or not. It simply becomes the path of least resistance. And just to say it: This is not a post against the standard life, because the standard life is actually quite sweet. One should not miss being comfortably in the middle of the Ikea family, with Taco Friday and in-laws with a cabin on Gålå. There’s a reason it’s so popular. The problem comes when you really want something a little different. When your personality doesn’t thrive in that box. When you don’t want children. When you don’t drink alcohol. When you prefer to take the charter trip alone. When you want to move in a collective as a well-grown adult, because you are actually that social. When your heart doesn’t just want to go on weekend trips in the forest, but maybe wants to live permanently out in the wilderness. From one of the chronicler’s many overnight stays in the wilderness. Photo: Johanne Refseth The fact is that when you want something different in Norway, the maelstrom back to normal is quite strong. The questions are many. And if the questions don’t come, then the silence after a “no thanks, I don’t drink”, or whatever it may be, can become so deafening that you can end up explaining something that doesn’t need to be explained. In other words, it requires a lot. It takes a lot to say no. It takes a lot to stand in that, and it takes a lot to explain that this is how I am: I am different from you. Over and over. Regardless of what that difference consists of. And for many, this is the Everest of their lives: to stand in who they are, without being taken by the undercurrent and taken back to the start. And to all of you who are in it now, I just want to say: Good job. Whatever it was, great job! Good that you stand in it, good that you put up with it, good that you try. And know that when this period is over, when the limits are set, when people have accepted it and those who don’t accept are out. Yes, then you have a very good life ahead of you.
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Long live the difference – Speech
