– It is not an ideal thing to be right now, to be Russian. Serafima Andreeva says so. She is 25 years old and moved to Norway from Russia 19 years ago. The question Where are you from? suddenly became more difficult to answer after 24 February 2022. Russian Oxana Eide has also experienced this. – Before I was very proud of Russia and being Russian, but right now I feel more guilt and shame about it. When people ask, I say I’m Russian, but there’s shame in that. That I am Russian. And I feel that every day, says Eide. Oxana Eide moved to Norway from Russia in 2005 and feels she no longer knows the country she used to be proud to come from. Photo: Sunniva Skurtveit / news These two are not the only ones to know. Shortly after Russia invaded Ukraine, it was reported, among other things, that Russian children were being bullied at school. In addition to Andreeva and Eide, Ekaterina Martynova and Daria talk about their experiences of being Russian outside of Russia. Losing belonging and identity The four women moved from Russia at different times and are in different phases of their lives. But they have one thing in common, and that is that they lose belonging to the country they come from. – I realize that the country I’m from is a country I no longer know, Andreeva explains. – Seeing a country you think you know turns into something completely different. Then you feel like you’re losing a bit of your identity, explains Serafima Andreeva. Photo: Private They do not support warfare, and it is difficult that what used to be known and loved has become merciless and brutal. – Of course, it cannot be compared with Ukrainians’ feelings and their lives. But the identity crisis we go through when we suddenly no longer accept our country is also quite traumatic, says Eide. Support, shame and guilt In each of their ways, they feel shame, prejudice and guilt about what is happening. But they also, in the main, meet with support and understanding for the situation they are in. – When I say that I am from Russia, I get a very quick follow-up question about how I am doing or words of support, says Andreeva. Nevertheless, a feeling of shame creeps in in certain situations, without her knowing why it is so. – The only times I feel that kind of shame is if I’m going to go out. I have a Russian passport and I’m always a bit embarrassed to show it, says the 25-year-old. Daria feels that some people distance themselves from her who is Russian and avoids the topic. – Occasionally on Tinder when I chat with men and am asked about nationality. When I answer Russia, they end the call. Daria is 31 years old and moved to Norway in 2016 to study. She wishes to remain anonymous for her own safety and the safety of her family and friends who still live in Russia. Photo: Sunniva Skurtveit / news This is what many of them experience. That the people they meet are careful and do not want to relate to Russians. – Of course they could choose, I think they would rather not know that I am Russian. In order not to have to deal with it, explains Eide. – We have a voice, both for ourselves and for those in Russia. In whatever way they take it, they feel a responsibility to stand against the war and support the Ukrainian people. But it’s not just simple. Ekaterina Martynova is a Russian journalist and editor for the independent, student-run newspaper Doxa Magazine. Even as an independent journalist from exile in Berlin who writes about the war in Ukraine, it is difficult to feel that she is doing enough. DOXA Magazine was awarded the Students’ Peace Prize during the International Student Festival in Trondheim. The Peace Prize has been awarded every four years since 1999 to students or student organizations who contribute to democracy, peace and human rights. Photo: Sunniva Skurtveit / news – Because when people die every day, lose their homes, their parents and their loved ones, it is difficult to say that I am doing enough. I do not want to hold the responsibility for everything that is happening, but in a way I am responsible for the war, because I am a Russian citizen. To work through the grief and shock that what she knew as her safe homeland went to war against a neighboring country, Eide chose to write about it in social media. – It was my way of telling the world that I am very much against it. I really wanted to shout about it and show that not all Russians are behind this, she adds. Oxana Eide has used social media to work through what has happened and to give a voice to those who are still in Russia and do not have the opportunity to express themselves. After this post, Oxana Eide received several messages from people she does not know. – I almost got feedback that it is best that all Russians just disappear from the face of the earth, she says. Oxana Eide feels she is being thrown out of her own history, feels rootless and powerless. She hopes people understand that not all Russians are the same and that not everyone is behind the war in Ukraine. And regardless of whether they choose to ask anonymously, write for a newspaper, do research or express themselves on social media, they agree on one thing: That they must use their voice to report what is not right and stand up against the war. – So I feel that I have a voice, both for ourselves and for those in Russia.
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Russians feel shame and guilt after Russia went to war against Ukraine – news Trøndelag
