– I had a list of questions I wanted to ask. I wanted to know if there are hereditary diseases in the family and if he shared my interests. Katt Marmin is sitting in a cafe in Gothenburg, this time to meet news. Four years ago, it was a completely different meeting she was preparing for. – I was very nervous on the bus. Imagine if he is unlovable? Imagine if we don’t know what to say to each other? Marmin was an adult when her grandmother told her that her father was not her biological father. The parents were dead, and the grandmother was the only one who knew the family secret. OPENNESS: Katt Marmin believes it is best to tell children that they are donor-conceived when they are young, and that it is more difficult the older they get. Photo: Martin Fønnebø / news – Fear of being rejected She can understand that her parents put a lid on the story of her conception. – My parents’ biggest dream was to have a family. Father was always terrified that me and my older brother, who is adopted, would say: – You are not my father, and I want nothing to do with you. Marmin thought it was strange and groundless. She didn’t know that her father was sterile. – For his generation born in the 40s, children were probably an important part of men’s identity. Almost no one sought out the sperm donor Sweden became the first country in the world to ban anonymous sperm donation in 1985, 20 years before Norway. Donor prisoners in Sweden have for many years had the right to be given the donor’s identity. But a recent study shows that very few take advantage of this opportunity. Among 900 donor-conceived Swedes with heterosexual parents, only 60 requested information about the donor. Around half of them did as Katt Marmin did, contacting the biological father. DONOR SPERM: Straw with donor sperm stored in a hydrogen container. The names are not the real names of the donors. Photo: Truls Alnes Antonsen / news Professor of psychology at Umeå University, Claudia Lampic, is responsible for the study. She says that far from all donor-conceived people need to meet the sperm donor, but also suspects that many parents have not told their children how they came to be. – 60 people is a very small proportion. It is not possible to know for sure, but one can assume that many parents have chosen not to tell, says Lampic. Professor of psychology at Umeå University, Claudia Lampic Photo: Simon Jönsson She says doctors often advised parents to cover up the story, even in the years after anonymity was banned. – Many parents received conflicting and unclear advice and felt that they had not been encouraged to tell their children about the birth. Study of donor conceptions in Sweden Photo: Roy Pettersen / Roy Pettersen A collaboration between seven Swedish hospitals that carried out treatment with donor sperm in 1985. Includes 900 people who were born in Sweden between 1986 and 2002. During this period, sperm donation for singles was not open and lesbians in Sweden. 60 people had requested information about donors from the hospitals. Among these, 40 chose to participate in a survey. Donor-conceived people who found out about their conception at a young/adult age were consistently less satisfied with the choice of time for this than people who were informed as children. Some of those who contacted the hospitals were not given their donor identity as they wished. Fear of secrecy in Norway Until next year, it will be possible, also in Norway, to have a sperm donor’s identity disclosed. Anonymous donation was banned in 2005, but it is only when the children turn 18 that they are entitled to information from the central egg and sperm donor register. The association for donor-conceived persons (DUIN) fears many will never be able to take advantage of the opportunity. Øystein Tandberg in the Donor Conceived Association, fears that parents in Norway will not tell their children that they have been conceived through donation. Photo: Ingvild Edvardsen / news – You are dependent on your parents complying with the duty to tell you about your origin in order to use the register. Experience from Sweden suggests that many do not. – Today, there is far greater openness around assisted fertilization, and singles and lesbians can also use a sperm donor. Don’t you think it contributes to less secrecy also among heterosexual parents? – We hope so, but we know that not everyone says this today, which the fertility industry itself has also stated. DONOR SEED: Semen from a Norwegian donor with the internal nickname “Ragnar” is frozen, ready for use. Photo: Truls Alnes Antonsen / news Letter in the mailbox DUIN believes the authorities should be responsible for informing the children. – It can be in the form of a letter that adoptees receive, or the information can be made available at helsenorge.no. He emphasizes that they are very positive about the register opening, but believes it is important that the framework is in place. Egg and sperm donor register Photo: Truls Alnes Antonsen / news The register contains information on donors used at Norwegian clinics after 2005. The donors are recruited in Norway and at businesses in the Nordic region. The first people who have the right to know who the sperm donor is were created with the help of assisted fertilization in 2005/2006. You must be 18 years of age to access this information. Therefore, the register will not “open” until early autumn 2023. (The age limit was later lowered to 15) Those who request information will be able to obtain this via helsenorge.no. The number of births after treatment with donor sperm in Norway has increased as lesbians and singles have gained the right to assisted fertilization. The number has risen from 49 children in 2007 to 296 in 2017. In total, it is about 2,000 children until 2017. Figures from the years after 2017 are not yet clear. Children who were conceived with a donor before 2005, or at a foreign clinic, cannot use the egg and sperm donor register. Sources: Directorate of Health, Ministry of Health and Care, Biotechnology Council Same facial features Katt Marmin says the meeting with her biological father was a special experience. – It was a bit surreal. There I am sitting with a person with whom I share genetics, but who is an unknown man. I see that we are related and that our facial features are similar. He had the same dimples in his cheeks as me. Katt marmin believes that many choose not to seek out the donor out of respect for their parents. – You are perhaps afraid of sending a signal that you value blood ties more than the environment. Photo: Martin Fønnebø / news The two talked about what they have done in life, and both got answers to questions they had been wondering about. – We share a common interest in history, and I learned that there are not many cases of cancer in his family. Today they have some contact via SMS, and she sees him as an acquaintance. She says the meeting was important to clarify what role he had in her life. – In advance, I thought a lot about what this means for my relationship with my parents and how it affects my identity. After the meeting, it became clear that this is a pleasant person with whom I share genes, and that’s it. I got the closure I needed. GOT A HALF BROTHER: Through her biological father, Katt Marmin got in touch with a half brother whom she sees regularly today. Photo: Martin Fønnebø / news / Martin Fønnebø – Parents’ responsibility to tell children State Secretary in the Ministry of Health, Karl Kristian Bekeng (Ap), says they expect parents to comply with the duty to tell children about the use of a donor. – It is positive that parents are open to the child that it was created with the help of a donation. The child should be informed about this as early as possible. We therefore believe that this information should be provided by the child’s parents and not by the public. He says that the solution that the directorate is working on will ensure that people who want to know whether they were donor-conceived in Norway after 2005 can get an answer to that, regardless of whether the parents have fulfilled their obligation to provide information or not.
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